Lights On with Carl Lentz

Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] In this raw episode of Lights On, Carl Lentz sits down with his 21-year-old daughter Ava for the conversation most dads are too afraid to have. What does my daughter actually need from me? The answer will challenge everything you think you know about strength, protection, and what it actually takes to lead your daughter well. Drawing from their own journey of rebuilding after public failure, Carl and Ava expose an uncomfortable truth. Your daughter's inner world is far deeper than you realize. And two things can be true at once. A dad can be trying his best AND his daughter can be starving for real connection. Ava shares what she needed most as a little girl but never said, including the moments Carl's "strength" actually created fear instead of safety. Carl delivers the perspective most dads never hear. What it is actually like to let your daughter see you broken, and why that vulnerability became the foundation of their relationship today. From the power of the words that follow "you are" to why your best parenting will feel like friction in the moment, to the question every dad should ask his daughter, this episode delivers practical truths for fathers who want to stop performing and start connecting. This episode will challenge any dad who believes he needs to have it all figured out. Follow Carl at https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/  Follow Ava at https://www.instagram.com/avaangellentz/ Supported by Plana https://plana.org/ Supported by God Behind Bars https://godbehindbars.com CHAPTERS  00:00 The Conversation Most Dads Avoid 02:40 This Is Not Pressure It Is Presence  05:18 What Ava Needed Most As A Little Girl  10:07 Why Vulnerability Made Them Closer  14:37 God Behind Bars Partnership  16:02 The Worst Advice Dads Receive  19:26 Your Words Become Her Inner Voice  22:00 The Dad Mistake That Creates Fear Not Safety  25:00 When Trust Is Crushed Daughters Need Honesty  29:50 Confrontation Is Not The Enemy Of Connection  31:01 Truth 1 Her Inner World Is Deeper Than You Know  34:24 Plana Partnership  36:22 Truth 2 Your Best Parenting Feels Like Friction  38:59 Truth 3 Humanity Strengthens Leadership  43:26 Truth 4 The Power Of You Are  45:07 Truth 5 Legacy Should Always Be Growing  46:59 What Daughters Wish Their Dads Would Ask  49:49 Final Words For Dads Ready To Lead Differently  54:06 Whatever You Avoid Controls You See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] --- In this raw episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura Lentz tackle the conversation most couples recovering from betrayal are too afraid to have. What do we do about sex? The answer will challenge everything you think you know about protection, connection, and what it actually takes to rebuild. Drawing from five years of rebuilding their own marriage, Carl and Laura expose an uncomfortable truth. Intimacy is not a reward system. It is a connection system. And two things can be true at once. A betrayed wife can be protecting herself AND the relationship can be starving for connection. Laura shares why she chose to pursue intimacy with Carl despite the trauma, including the moment she shook so badly he had to leave the room. Carl delivers the perspective most men never hear. What it is actually like to rebuild your sexuality without any hope of intimacy at home, and why white-knuckling is not recovery. From the Gottman framework of Atone, Attune, Attach, to the 5-level ladder for rebuilding physical connection, to why compliance is not intimacy and consent is, this episode delivers practical frameworks for couples who want to stop avoiding the hardest conversation in recovery. This episode will challenge any couple who believes removing intimacy has no cost. --- Follow Carl at https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/ Follow Laura at https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/ --- Supported by Plana https://plana.org/ Supported by God Behind Bars https://godbehindbars.com --- CHAPTERS 00:00 The Conversation Betrayed Couples Avoid 02:40 This Is Not Pressure It Is Options 05:18 What Recovery Actually Looks Like For The Man 10:07 Why Laura Chose Intimacy Despite The Trauma 14:37 God Behind Bars Partnership 16:02 The Worst Christian Advice Women Receive 19:26 The Science Of Bonding Stress And Well-Being 22:00 The Best Way To Stop Fighting 25:00 When Trust Is Crushed Couples Need Reconnection 29:50 Healthy Sex Is Not A Replacement For Recovery 31:01 The Gottman Framework Atone Attune Attach 34:24 Plana Partnership 36:22 Attunement Tuning The Guitar Before You Play 38:59 Non-Sexual Affection And The 5 Levels 43:26 Relearning Touch With No Goal And No Pressure 45:07 Erotic Connection Only When Both Can Say Yes 46:59 Weapon Reward Or Reconnection Which Are You Using 49:49 Final Reminders For Couples Rebuilding 54:06 Whatever You Avoid Controls You See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected] In this raw episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura Lentz tackle the question every couple secretly asks during the holidays: "Is this hard because we're healing—or hard because something is broken?" The answer will challenge everything you think you know about keeping the peace in your marriage. Drawing from five years of rebuilding their own marriage, Carl and Laura expose an uncomfortable truth: the betrayed who obsesses and the betrayer who avoids are both destroying the peace faster than the affair ever could. Laura shares why she had to stop being the "peace keeper" in her marriage and become a "clarity seeker"—even when it was messy. Carl delivers the challenge most men avoid: If you want your wife to trust you again, stop waiting for her to calm down before you get honest. An honest man tells on himself. From the difference between "clearing things up" and "letting things go," to why resentment accumulation destroys more marriages than the original betrayal, to their personal story of surviving Carl's rehab during Christmas with three kids—this episode delivers practical frameworks you can use today. This episode will challenge any couple who believes avoiding hard conversations is how you keep the peace. Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/ Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/ Supported by Plana https://plana.org/ Supported by God Behind Bars https://godbehindbars.com  CHAPTERS: 00:00 - If You Dread The Holidays, This Is For You 01:57 - The Stats: 64% Depression Increase + 300% Conflict Amplification 04:32 - Carl In Rehab On Christmas: How We Survived 08:24 - The "Keep The Peace" Trap 11:33 - Peace Is NOT The Absence Of Conflict 14:53 - The 24-Hour Repair Rule (The #1 Marriage Predictor) 18:28 - Clear Some Things Up: The Framework 22:16 - Repair Attempts Within 24 Hours 25:02 - Vulnerable Ownership Lowers Defenses In 90 Seconds 28:09 - How To Bring Up An Issue Without Attacking 31:44 - Plana Partnership 32:10 - Clear Up The Rules Of Engagement 34:43 - The Power Of Short Accounts 38:59 - Let Some Things Go: Celebrating What Annoys You 40:14 - Laura's 4 Annoying Things About Carl 44:00 - Carl's 5 Annoying Things About Laura 49:07 - What Can You Let Go Of Today? 53:16 - Final Questions Before The Holidays End See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I visited Angola Prison, one of America's largest maximum security facilities, and what I witnessed broke me in the best way possible. This is Yogi. He's serving 65 years. He might be the freest man I've ever met. I went with my friend Jake Bodin from God Behind Bars to experience the first-ever daddy-daughter dance inside a maximum security prison. Men serving 40 years to life, some who hadn't hugged their daughters in decades, slow dancing with their little girls. I wasn't ready. We walked through death row. We talked to men who will never leave. And what I found wasn't despair. It was faith, peace, and freedom I've rarely seen outside these walls. Yogi got denied parole after doing everything right for 25 years. His response? "Maybe it's for one more." One more person to reach. One more life to change. This episode will challenge how you think about freedom, faith, gratitude, and what it really means to be stuck. Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/ — // SUPPORT GOD BEHIND BARS: https://godbehindbarsnow.com __ 🙏 PRAY FOR YOGI He's been incarcerated for 25 years and leads men spiritually every single day at Angola. Add him to your prayer list. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Want to submit questions? Email us at [email protected]! In this raw episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura Lentz tackle the question every couple secretly asks after betrayal: "Is this hard because we're healing—or hard because something is broken?" The answer will challenge everything you think you know about recovery. Drawing from five years of rebuilding their own marriage, Carl and Laura expose an uncomfortable truth: the betrayed wife often has to work harder than the husband who cheated. Not because it's fair—it's absolutely not—but because staying stuck in suspicion will destroy you faster than the affair ever could. Laura shares why she had to stop being the "police officer" in her marriage and become a "peaceful observer of change." Carl delivers the challenge most men avoid: if you want your wife to trust you again, stop waiting for her to ask the right questions. An honest man tells on himself. From the difference between "spotlight work" and "shadow work," to why demanding honesty when you can't handle the answers creates a dangerous cycle, this episode delivers practical frameworks you can use today. This episode will challenge any betrayed spouse who believes healing is the cheater's job alone. ----- Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/ Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/ --- Supported by Plana https://plana.org/ ----- ## CHAPTERS: 00:00 - Is This The Right Kind of Hard? 05:33 - The "You Cheated" Trump Card 09:49 - Why This Takes Constant Work 13:04 - Spotlight Work vs Shadow Work 20:21 - The Betrayed Wife Has To Work Too 27:21 - Police Officer vs Peace Observer 38:59 - Plana Partnership 39:54 - What An Honest Man Will Tell You 51:22 - Patterns Over Promises 55:47 - The Right Kind of Difficult See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.