Dracula! Gretchen Von Stroodlehymen! The night they escaped the Secret Sisterhood of the Divine Traveling Ya-Yas!

At last, the story of their forbidden love plays out! Questions are answered. Fates are determined. Do wishful winkees and hopeful hoo-has live happily ever after?

Plus Chardonnay Wafflehutt shares his own romantic night with ABBA.

That's in your head now. Forever.