In this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with D'Layne Benson about navigating burnout, self-abandonment, and the transformative power of breathwork for overwhelmed women. D'Layne shares her journey from the ski resort town of Haley, Idaho, highlighting the impact of over-functioning as a nurse, the emotional toll of family demands, and the personal reckoning brought on by the COVID-19 pandemic. This conversation is packed with actionable insight on nervous system regulation, finding joy, and creating boundaries—key lessons for anyone feeling stretched too thin.D'Layne Benson is a former nurse turned nurse coach and breathwork facilitator, devoted to helping perfectionist, people-pleasing, and overachieving women move from overwhelm to balance, joy, and self-acceptance. Based in Idaho, she draws on her own experience of burnout, family caregiving, and personal growth to support women in uncovering their patterns and building tailored strategies for healing. D'Layne offers both group breathwork classes and one-to-one coaching, specializing in trauma-informed, transformative methods for nervous system regulation.Main Topics Covered:Caring for others vs. caring for yourself: How self-abandonment develops and shows up in high-achieving womenThe realities of burnout as a nurse in rural and pandemic-era IdahoUnderstanding the freeze response and nervous system dysregulation beyond “fight or flight”Breaking patterns of people-pleasing and perfectionism, especially at midlifeThe intersection of personal upheaval (career, health, family illness) and hormonal changes (perimenopause)How breathwork can foster insight, healing, and tangible emotional releaseSteps for moving from overwhelm to joy: list-making, boundaries, and intentional transitionsThe value of finding fun, building presence, and redefining achievement beyond productivityQuote from the Episode: "I was trying to control my husband, I was trying to control my stepson, I was helicopter momming him, I was trying to control my in-laws, I was trying to control my parents. I was trying to control every aspect of life. ... While I felt the control was giving me safety, it was actually the thing that was keeping me from living a beautiful life and thriving." — D'Layne BensonTimestamps: [00:00:06] Welcome to The Art of Imperfect Adulting; D'Layne’s Idaho mountain home[00:01:21] Motivation and how to find the fun in tough projects[00:02:55] List-making, overwhelm, and the power of single-task focus[00:05:33] Life before the pandemic: nursing, family setup, and being “the rock”[00:09:44] Family relationships: husband’s brain injuries, stepson, and self-development[00:14:13] Everything collapsing: pandemic stress, family illness, perimenopause[00:19:34] Why nursing and “helping” became an identity; childhood patterns of achievement and abandonment[00:26:50] Freeze response explained: hidden anxiety in high-performing women[00:32:11] Journey to breathwork: when self-help shifted from helping others to herself[00:39:29] Breakthrough in breathwork: realizing control and safety patterns[00:43:11] Explaining transformative breathwork vs. “just taking a deep breath”[00:47:34] What life looks like now: presence, intention, and happiness after transformation[00:51:27] D'Layne’s current work, virtual breathwork classes, and where to find her[00:54:24] Special listener offer: free live breathwork class (code: imperfectadulting)[00:54:10] Final lightning round: streaming apps, grocery cravings, best social media buy[00:56:06] Closing thank you and reflection on the episodeABOUT THE SHOW: The Art of Imperfect Adulting elevates the voices of experience by sharing real stories from real people figuring out adult life. Every episode features honest conversations about life's choices, changes, and challenges—interviews with individuals (not celebrities) who share their personal experiences and insights. Through these authentic stories, listeners find validation, motivation, and inspiration for navigating their own path through modern life. Because there's a big difference between expert advice and shared experience, and hearing another person's lived experience helps us feel less alone in our own situations.CONNECT WITH THE GUEST: [Guest Name]'s website and social media linksGET D’Layne Benson’s SPECIAL OFFER: Free Virtual Transformative Breathwork Class Use code IMPERFECTADULTING at checkout to join one live breathwork class of your choice — completely free. https://linktr.ee/dlaynebensonwellness?utm_source=linktree_profile_share&ltsid=16708a11-6fed-4dc3-a19c-a46b7ad33c66Join the conversation on social. Find the Art of Imperfect Adulting on Instagram @theartof_imperfect_adulting YouTube @imperfectadulting and TikTok @imperfectadultingIf you have a story to share and you'd like to be a guest on The Art of Imperfect Adulting, here are the steps for how you can make that happen. Click here and pitch yourself. Never Miss a Moment of Imperfect AdultingWe invite you to join our email community and let us bring the podcast directly to you! As a subscriber, you'll receive notifications about new episodes, exclusive offers from our amazing guests, and easier access to any of the important links mentioned on the show—no more scrambling to write down websites or remember special codes.Why subscribe?Stay up-to-date without checking your podcast appGet guest offers delivered straight to your inboxAccess all important links in one convenient placeCatch the highlights even when you don't have time to listenAre you ready? Join us at https://www.imperfectadulting.comIf you love the show and you'd like to support it directly you can tip the host here https://imperfect-adulting.captivate.fm/supportHere are a few resources that Amy uses to make all this great content. These are affiliate links :-)Podcast hosting and distribution: Captivate FMWebsite hosting with Siteground Ai Transcription Tool: Castmagic For Email I recently switched to Beehiiv before that I used Kit. Online Shopping Cart: ThriveCartNetworking and support with Entreprenista LeagueConnection with Polka Dot PowerhouseBooks I like and books written by show guests on Bookshop.orgGrab a $20 coupon for Nutrafol hereDo you need a bank account? Ally