If you love the show and you'd like to support it directly you can tip the host here https://imperfect-adulting.captivate.fm/supportIn this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Hope Alcocer about the transformative journey of giving up control through the challenges of infertility, miscarriage, and profound grief. Hope, who lives in the New York City tri-state area, shares candidly about her experiences navigating blended family dynamics, repeated pregnancy loss, the illness and loss of a parent, and how these crises led her to a radical acceptance of life’s uncontrollable moments. Listeners can expect deep insight into coping with loss, the pressure on women in motherhood journeys, and real-life tools for embracing imperfection and change.About Hope Alcocer:Hope Alcocer is a certified mental health coach, motivational speaker, and author whose work centers around resilience, recovery, and reclaiming your voice. Her journey includes surviving domestic violence, navigating infertility, and healing from grief and trauma—all of which have become central to her coaching and speaking approach.Main Topics Covered:The realities and emotional toll of infertility and recurrent miscarriage, including the financial, relational, and psychological stress.Navigating stepmotherhood and blended family dynamics, and the early conversations around family planning when dating someone with children.How compounded grief—losing a child at birth and a parent within days—forces a transformation in outlook and priorities.The pitfalls of trying to control life’s outcomes, even with careful planning, and the journey to radical acceptance.The stigma and isolation women (and couples) often experience when dealing with fertility struggles and pregnancy loss.Practical examples of letting go—how Hope’s perspective on daily frustrations, like traffic or children getting sick, changed after her losses.The double-blind of supporting a gravely ill parent while longing for and then grieving a child, and the emotional “sandwich” of adulting in multigenerational crisis.How Hope now uses her story to support others as a mental health coach and speaker, and the importance of holding space for complex emotions.Quote from the Episode:“I realized that we can control how we react to what we can’t control… Whatever comes at us, we have a choice in how we’re going to react to the uncontrollable.” — Hope Alcocer 38:07Timestamps:00:01 Introduction, trigger warning, and welcoming Hope Alcocer01:28 Hope shares about life in the NY tri-state area and blended family03:00 Early ideas about family, motherhood, and step-parenting05:05 Candid discussion about blending families and having “ours babies”07:15 Hope’s childhood exposure to infertility and miscarriage11:02 Losing control: multiple miscarriages, genetic testing, and the limits of planning14:08 Compounding grief—miscarriage and mother’s breast cancer diagnosis17:00 Putting motherhood on hold to care for an ill parent; guilt and family priorities18:43 Pregnancy after loss, the high-risk, closely-monitored journey19:05 Twin pregnancy, losing a twin, and managing mixed emotions22:25 Progesterone shots, medical interventions, and the role of a supportive partner25:18 Separation, costs, and isolation—fertility journey challenges28:13 The pressure of “making it work” and longing for parental connection30:16 End of pregnancy, mother’s transition to hospice, and hope colliding with reality33:51 Sudden placental abruption, emergency C-section, and infant loss36:45 Grieving the loss of both child and mother within days37:46 Realization and surrender: “We don’t control anything in this life.”41:23 The surprising freedom in letting go and living beyond minor grievances44:08 Hope’s work as a mental health coach; resources and special offers46:50 Rapid-fire: self-care, travel dreams, and a favorite book recommendationABOUT THE SHOW: The Art of Imperfect Adulting elevates the voices of experience by sharing real stories from real people figuring out adult life. Every episode features honest conversations about life's choices, changes, and challenges—interviews with individuals (not celebrities) who share their personal experiences and insights. Through these authentic stories, listeners find validation, motivation, and inspiration for navigating their own path through modern life. Because there's a big difference between expert advice and shared experience, and hearing another person's lived experience helps us feel less alone in our own situations.CONNECT WITH THE GUEST: www.hopealcocer.comMIA'S FOUNDATION: Miajoyfoundation.org GET HOPE'S SPECIAL OFFER: Intro Mental Health Coaching Session- Free Limited to first 5 sign ups https://www.hopealcocer.com/coachingFemale Founders always get 20% off my marketing services: hourly or packageshttps://www.hopealcocer.com/services#serviceofferingsNote from the show: Guest offers are almost always limited-time and limited quantity. If you have any trouble redeeming the offer please reach out directly to the guest for support.Never Miss a Moment of Imperfect AdultingWe invite you to join our email community and let us bring the podcast directly to you! As a subscriber, you'll receive notifications about new episodes, exclusive offers from our amazing guests, and easier access to any of the important links mentioned on the show—no more scrambling to write down websites or remember special codes.Why subscribe?Stay up-to-date without checking your podcast appGet guest offers delivered straight to your inboxAccess all important links in one convenient placeCatch the highlights even when you don't have time to listenAre you ready? Join us at https://www.imperfectadulting.comIf you have a story to share and you'd like to be a guest on The Art of Imperfect Adulting, here are the steps for how you can make that happen. Pitch yourself at https://www.imperfectadulting.com/be-a-guestHere are a few resources that Amy uses to make all this great content. These are affiliate links :-)For livestreaming and recording ECamm https://www.ecamm.com/mac/ecammlive/?fp_ref=amy69Podcast hosting and distribution: Captivate FM https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=ntczmwi Website hosting with Siteground https://www.siteground.com/?referrer_id=9115590Ai Transcription Tool: Castmagic https://get.castmagic.io/ugrmjjrt8ofjFor Email I recently switched to Beehiiv https://www.beehiiv.com?via=Amy-Stonebefore that I used Kit. Books I like and books written by show guests on Bookshop.org https://bookshop.org/lists/podcast-guest-authors