We Didn't Turn Out OK with Jennie Monness

This week on We Didn’t Turn Out Ok, I’m joined by Michael “Zappy” Zapolin — founder of  ⁠Psychedelic Concierge⁠, and one of the leading voices helping bring more mainstream awareness and understanding to psychedelic healing. Zappy has worked with celebrities, CEOs, veterans and individuals from all walks of life. He is the creator of films including The Reality of Truth and Frequency featuring voices like Joe Dispenza, Marianne Williamson and Aubrey Marcus discussing healing, consciousness, transformation and human potential. This conversation goes far beyond psychedelics themselves. It’s really about healing. Survival mode. Emotional patterns. Motherhood. Identity. Fear. Connection. And what happens when people finally begin reconnecting with themselves in deeper ways. We talk about the changing landscape around psychedelic healing, why these modalities have carried so much stigma historically, and why both of us believe these conversations are becoming increasingly important - especially when approached responsibly, ethically, and with proper support and integration. We even get into the growing use of psychedelics for bio hackers like Bryan Johnson who are looking to extend their lives and the benefits of psychedelics for brain and mental health. I also share openly about my own experiences with several guided psychedelic journeys over the past year and how profoundly they’ve impacted the way I think about parenting, nervous system regulation, self-awareness, and healing. One of the biggest themes we explore is this: Motherhood can bring the deepest love and connection you’ve ever felt toward another human being… while simultaneously surfacing all the places you may feel disconnected from yourself in ways you never realized before. And perhaps that’s why so many mothers are craving deeper healing. We also discuss: why so many people feel emotionally stuck the difference between healing and escapism the importance of ethical guidance and integration why psychedelics developed such a complicated reputation historically what happens when parents begin healing themselves and how these experiences can shift the way we move through life, relationships, and connecting with our children.  I honestly believe many people are walking around disconnected from parts of themselves (and the world around them) and that there are layers of ourselves many of us never fully access until we experience “healing” of this depth. The more I experience and learn about this work, the more I realize that this is part of my calling because so many of us are functioning, succeeding, caregiving and showing up for everyone while quietly becoming more disconnected from parts of ourselves that we haven't had the space or safety to access. I honestly believe that at the least, everyone should learn more about this, now more than ever as it is gaining more and more science backed research, importance and approval at a government level because of the healing and profound nature of its impact on mental health and well being. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

After more than fifteen years working to the top of luxury fashion, culminating in her role as COO of Brandon Maxwell, Lauren Phelps walked away. She had just lost her mother to brain cancer and was pregnant with her first son, and she realized something: the memories she carried of her mom weren’t the milestones or big moments, trips and celebrations. They were the in-betweens. The way her mother brushed hair away from her face during a bedtime story. The songs. The painting together on the back porch. She didn’t want to miss those moments with her own children. Today, Lauren is a fine artist working out of her studio at the historic National Arts Club in Gramercy Park, where her oils, charcoals, and pastels are devoted almost entirely to the bond between parent and child. She is currently illustrating a book with bestselling author Michael Sampson (out soon), with her own debut as author-illustrator launching in 2027. In this episode, Lauren and I get into the big little moments, and we bond, hard, over what it’s like to raise deep-feeling kids who show those feelings in wildly different ways. Our older ones tend to process through complication and quiet; our younger ones leave nothing unsaid. We close the conversation with Lauren in the middle of a real one: her 8-year-old is scheduled to perform an almost unbelievably complex musical piece in front of his entire school the next day, and he’s wavering. We talk through how to hold space for a child who is caught between wanting something and being terrified of it. (An update from Lauren the morning after we recorded: he performed. He was incredible.) This one is two moms pulling back the curtain on what it actually feels like to parent big-feeling children and on holding each other up while we do it. I hope it helps you and you connect with it the way we did with each other. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What happens when the story you’ve always believed about yourself… starts to shift? This week on We Didn’t Turn Out Ok, I sit down with Morgan Radford, journalist, co-anchor of NBC News Daily, mom, and now debut novelist, to talk about identity, unbelonging, family stories, and the quiet ways our past shapes who we become. Morgan’s new novel, Now Then, explores a mother and daughter uncovering hidden truths across generations, and our conversation goes far beyond the pages of the book. We talk about what it feels like to move through spaces where you’re deeply aware of exclusion, the tension between belonging and becoming, and how motherhood changes the way we understand our parents - and ourselves. We also talk about intentional parenting, raising children connected to culture and language, and the emotional inheritance we pass down without even realizing it. And honestly? One of the most underrated “why didn’t anyone tell me this sooner” moments from this conversation was hearing Morgan talk about the importance of looking for peace and stability in a relationship, not just chemistry, intensity, or potential. It’s one of those things that feels so obvious once someone says it out loud, but so many of us were never actually taught to value. This episode is thoughtful, emotional, reflective, and full of the kinds of conversations that stay with you long after they end. In this episode we discuss: Unbelonging and awareness of exclusion Identity and self-discovery The stories we inherit from our parents Motherhood and perspective shifts Culture, language, and intentional parenting Family secrets and emotional legacy Love, timing, and choosing peace in relationships Now Then is available now. Learn more and order at MorganRadford.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I sat down with my dear friend Dr. Rachel Goldman, psychologist, Clinical Assistant Professor at NYU Grossman School of Medicine, mom of two, and author of When Life Happens. In this episode, we talk about what it really means when “life happens” the moments we can’t control, the stories we attach to them, and how we can move from blame, shame, or stuckness into curiosity and repair. Rachel shares a cognitive behavioral therapy lens on parenting, body image, conflict, comparison, and the everyday thoughts that shape how we feel and respond. We talk about why “why is this happening to me?” can keep us stuck, how to ask “now what?” instead, and how to help our kids build problem-solving skills by modeling this same mindset. We also get into body image, the messages our kids absorb, why language matters, and how modeling boundaries, breathers, resets, and self-compassion may be one of the most powerful ways we teach our children how to move through hard moments. This conversation is about letting life be messy without making ourselves wrong for it and remembering that none of us are doing it perfectly, but we can keep learning, repairing, and beginning again. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

She’s going to camp…and I’m not okay.  This episode was recorded and released a little selfishly. I’m currently in the thick of preparing to send my 8-year-old daughter to sleepaway camp in just two months, and I am feeling everything. There are certain moments in motherhood I always knew would feel both gut-wrenching and joy-filled, and this is absolutely one of them. Sending my first child off to camp, the very same camp where I experienced such a deep sense of belonging, independence, and lifelong friendship, is incredibly meaningful. It shaped so much of who I am. The idea that she’ll now begin creating her own version of that magic is one of the most exciting parts of motherhood for me. And still, two things can be true: alongside that excitement is a steady undercurrent of nerves. Questions enter in my mind at all hours “She still climbs into my bed some nights… what does that mean?” “If she brushes off her younger sister’s tears as embarrassing, will she hold things in at camp?” “Will she rinse all the shampoo out of her hair?” These small thoughts somehow feel very big right now. That’s exactly why I wanted to have this conversation with Lauren Kasnett Nearpass. Lauren, alongside her mother Susan Kasnett, co-founded ⁠Summer 365⁠ in 2013 with the goal of bringing camp consulting into the modern age. While Google searches and social media can offer endless opinions, Summer 365 was built on something much deeper: lived experience. As former campers, counselors, and now mothers, their team understands firsthand the transformative power of summer camp, and the weight of choosing the right one. Their approach is deeply personal, working one-on-one with families to thoughtfully match each child with the environment where they can truly thrive. I knew Lauren personally, but I had also heard over and over how impactful her work is for families navigating this process. And this felt like the exact moment to lean on that expertise, not just for me, but for so many parents either considering sleepaway camp or preparing for it. As Lauren shares, now is often when families begin exploring options for future summers, though she’s also helping families even for this coming season. What makes this conversation even more meaningful is that Lauren is in it too. Her daughter is heading into her fourth summer at camp, and her almost 8-year-old son will be going for the first time. She speaks candidly about her own uncertainties and shares something that really stayed with me: there’s no perfect “checklist” for readiness. While some kids are clearly going to thrive, others are the ones who will deeply benefit from the experience. In this episode, we talk about everything, from how to make one of your child’s first big life decisions together, to the emotional rollercoaster of letting go, to the practical ways we can prepare our kids in the months leading up to camp. This isn’t just about camp, it’s about trusting that our children are ready to step into something new, even when it stretches us as parents (or happens without us there!) I keep coming back to something my older sister once told me after sending her kids to camp: “Once I knew they were happy and thriving, it hit me, they’d be making all these incredible  memories without me.” And I think that’s what I’m really bracing for. I somehow didn’t cry during this recording, but I can feel it all at any given moment - the ache, the pride, the letting go. So if you see me in May or June… just hug me. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices