Light in the Battle: Autism, Single Motherhood and Trauma Recovery

We've been trained to explain ourselves. Either through a toxic abusive relationship, through a lifetime of living with autism and being misunderstood, or by walking the journey of raising a child with autism and/or PDA. It's taking energy away from what matters: your mental health, and your kids. When people are committed to misunderstanding you, consciously or not, share what you have to share and keep it moving. In this episode Faustina reflects on her journey with all of the above and explains why sharing less, is actually safer. In the context of coparenting with a narcissist, or someone who exhibits dysfunctional traits of behavior, the way you communicate, and how much content you produce as you attempt to explain your decisions, can be used against you in family court. Judges won't be able to see who the safe, child-focused parent is if you ramble and come from an emotional place. Detach, share what you legally have to share, and be on your merry way. In the context of raising a PDA child, you'll be making decisions that most parents won't understand. And unless they are willing to educate themselves and research PDA, there is approximately zero point in explaining why you're raising the kids this or that way. It's not your job to educate people when every ounce of your energy must be preserved. In the context of a late autism diagnosis, and faced with the adjustments that you make to your life as you start to unmask, the people who have known you for a long time won't take it well either. Maybe they can't be friends with the person you really are without the autistic masking. Maybe they weren't the right people for you all along. Unless they behave like safe people, they don't deserve your explanations. You're already exhausted from figuring out how to function in a neurotypical world. Please take whatever resonates with you to the attention of a legal or mental health professional. You DO have to disclose certain things to your coparent, and you DO want to build safe connection with your safe people as you crawl your way out of CPTSD or PTSD.

In this short episode, we’re talking about something that keeps many survivors stuck: closure.We’re often told we need:an apologyaccountabilityunderstandinga “clean ending”But in high-conflict dynamics — and especially after narcissistic abuse — that closure often never comes.And waiting for it can keep you:emotionally attachedmentally replaying the paststuck in a loop of “maybe one day they’ll get it”• Why closure is often unavailable after narcissistic abuse - the self-verification concept is what makes it impossible• How waiting for understanding keeps you tied to the other person• The difference between external closure and internal decision• Why emotional detachment requires letting go of being understood• How to move forward without resolution• The link between closure, surrender, and trauma recoveryClosure is not something you need the other person to give you. Because needing anything from someone with narcissistic tendencies is dangerous.Closure is another thing to let go of. “I understand what happened. I don’t like it. I don’t agree with it. But I accept that this is who they are.”From there, you stop:re-explainingrehashingtrying to be understoodAnd you start moving forward without needing their version of the story.For autistic women navigating trauma recovery and narcissistic abuse recovery, this shift is key to breaking emotional attachment and reclaiming your energy.You don’t need the story to end cleanly.You need to stop revisiting it - which may require a bit of trauma work.👉 Follow the show for more short, practical episodes on emotional detachment, autism (ASD), and high-conflict co-parenting👉 Leave a review if this content is helping you move forwardDisclaimer: This podcast shares lived experience related to narcissistic abuse recovery, trauma recovery, autism and ASD. It is not a substitute for professional medical, legal, or mental health advice.Take it one day at a time.

How do you get anything done when you're a PDA adult? When everything feels like a demand, from responding to an email from your lawyer to the simple fact your body says it's time to get a sip of water? Just like the ⁠autistic burnout meditation⁠ I created for myself,these are affirmations I recorded for myself and that are having quite the impact on getting stuff done in my life. Stuff that society expects, that "normal" people do, that my body expects of me, etc. I now do things because I WANT TO DO THEM. Not because my body says it needs it, because my phone tells me I need to answer a call, or because normal people make their bed in the morning. I hope this helps other PDA adults reframe the demands intostuff you want to do for yourself, because it's important to YOU. PDA stands for Pervasive Drive for Autonomy, also known asPathological Demand Avoidance. It can greaty impact your quality of life as a PDA single mother, because the underlying dynamics that enable you to do all the things for your child, are not the same that require you to do all the things for yourself. For your child, it's an ancestral instinct geared towardsthe survival of the species, so you do everything your kids need. But when it comes to you, as an autistic single mother with PDA, especially after you're out of battery, you will 100% refuse to wash your face in the evening, or to respond to your friends who are checking in on you. There's a bit of mental exhaustion mixed with task paralysis. So let's reframe those demands, into things we want for ourselves. This invisible disability, this neurodivergent life doesn't have to take a massive toll on our social lives, on our health, on our careers, on our daily functioning, on our ability to ask for help, and such.  Keywords (look away!)PDA affirmations, autistic adults, autism burnout recovery,PDA autism support, neurodivergent affirmations, gentle self care autism, PDA meditation, nervous system regulation autism, demand avoidance adults, low demand lifestyleautism, autism meditation, guided affirmations adults PDA affirmations for demand avoidancePDA profile adult support strategies affirmations for taskavoidance autism internalized demand resistance affirmations PDA Affirmations for Adults,PDA Meditation for Adult PDA, Adult PDA MeditationAdult PDA AffirmationsPDA Affirmations for Autistic Adults, Adult PDA Meditation,Adult PDA Affirmations, Meditation for PDA adults- Pervasive Drive for Autonomy- Pathological Demand Avoidance - PDA Autism Affirmations for Adults, PDA Affirmations forAutistic Adults, Getting Shit Done with PDA

You don't win in court by being right, nor by feeling strongly about things. You increase your odds of protecting the kids from harm by becoming regulated, consistent, strategic, coachable, and impossible to trigger and bait. This is the Season Finale for Season 2.In the context of legal abuse and post-separation abuse at the hands of a coparent that displays narcissistic patterns of behavior, family court and custody battles require a particular strategy. While several well-known influencers in the "divorcing a narcissist" space give amazing advice, and I recommend two in particular here, there is a gap between the time you come out of the abusive relationship, and the time you are able to receive the amazing legal advice and mindset coaching that they suggest. You cannot hear what they recommend, if you're still highly emotional, easily triggered, traumatized, if you've been sending emails that can be used against you, etc. This season has taken you through a complete journey of trauma recovery:the trauma bondPTSD and CPTSDEMDR and nervous system regulationforgiveness without reconciliationcodependency & its ties to autismfellowship and mentorship with the STAR NetworkgratitudesurrendergriefThis entire process was designed to lead you to one place: emotional detachment.And not as a concept — but as an advantage in high-conflict situations.• Why emotional detachment is about what you can control• Why being “right” is not enough in family court• How trauma responses can undermine your credibility without you realizing it• Why legal strategies only work when your nervous system is regulated• The gap between legal advice and emotional readiness• How emotional detachment changes your communication, documentation, and presence• Why family courts and judges respond to consistency, stability, and behavior — not your internal experience• The shift from reacting to acting strategically• How detachment can protect your energy, your child, and your long-term outcomesFor a survivor of narcissistic abuse, especially an autistic woman navigating trauma recovery, this work is not optional.Without emotional detachment:you remain reactiveyou remain entangledyou risk creating evidence that can be used against youWith emotional detachment:you become calmyou become consistentyou become credibleAnd that changes everything.This is the difference between knowing what to do, and being able to do it under pressure.Many resources exist to help you navigate family court.But most of them assume that you are already regulated, grounded, and emotionally detached.This season was about getting you there.So that when you receive legal advice, you can:apply itsustain itand execute it without self-sabotageAs we close Season 2, remember:Emotional detachment is not about becoming passive, or surrendering, quite the opposite. It is about: being in control of what you can control — your mindset and how you show up — no matter what is happening around you.This is where your power is.👉 Follow the show for future seasons on trauma recovery, autism and high-conflict co-parenting👉 Leave a review if this season helped you — it helps reach more survivorsDisclaimer: This podcast shares lived experience related to narcissistic abuse recovery, trauma recovery, autism and ASD. It is not a substitute for professional medical, legal, or mental health advice.

Grief After Narcissistic Abuse: Mourning What Was LostGrief is what happens when you stop fighting reality — andfinally allow yourself to feel what it cost you.For a survivor of narcissistic abuse, those lossescan be significant, complex, and often invisible to others.Welcome back to Season 2 of Light in the Battle— a podcast for autistic women healing from narcissistic abuse, where we become clearer, calmer, and spiritually and legally harder to mess with.Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for FamilyCourt — Season 2This season is a journey from the trauma bond toemotional freedom. We’ve covered trauma recovery through PTSD and CPTSD, EMDR, forgiveness without reconciliation, codependency, fellowship, gratitude, and surrender.In this episode, we arrive at a step that cannot be skipped: grief.In this episode, we explore:• Grieving the life you thought you were building• Grieving a reality that looks nothing like what you planned• The loss of personal belongings, stability, and shared history• Losing friendships, social circles, and cutting off “flying monkeys”• Grieving changes in your relationship with your children, including parental alienation• The loss of innocence in relationships — and no longer being “carefree”• The reality that courts often focus only on the children, not what you endured• The loss of control over your life due to court orders and legal structures• Why taking stock of what you lost is necessary for emotional detachment• The difference between grief and staying stuck in the pastGrief is the process that allows you to release what isgone, so it stops defining and controlling your present reality.For autistic women navigating trauma recovery andnarcissistic abuse recovery, grief can feel overwhelming — especially when paired with sensory overload, burnout, and emotional exhaustion.But avoiding grief keeps you:ReactiveAttached to the pastEmotionally entangledALL of which will be used against you in family court, in acustody battle. Allowing grief is what makes emotional detachmentcomplete.It is what allows you to:stop chasing things that you can't have backstop bargaining with the pastand finally redirect your energy toward your life, your legal battle, and your futureAs we move toward the final episode of Season 2, this is themoment where everything begins to settle.If this episode feels heavy, take your time with it.Grief is not something you rush. It will hit in waves, if you allow it to. 👉 Follow the show to complete the Season 2 journey👉Leave a review if this content is helping you move through trauma recoveryDisclaimer: This podcast shares lived experience related tonarcissistic abuse recovery, trauma recovery, autism and ASD. It is not a substitute for professional medical, legal, or mental health advice.Take it one day at a time.We’ll see you next week.