Light in the Battle: Autism, Single Motherhood and Trauma Recovery

Here's what trauma has done to your autistic nervous system.In Season 3 we are "zooming in" the day- to-day reality of living with trauma, while we do the extensive, long term work of healing from narcissistic abuse. We work to understand trauma, and we explore ways to heal the nervous system.In this particular episode, we discuss why autistic brains are particularly prone to trauma after abuse, what that feels like in daily life, and we talk about neuroplasticity. Your brain has become traumatized. It can become healthy. It works both ways.

In this episode, we explore:• Why high-conflict co-parenting is uniquely dysregulatingfor autistic women• How ASD nervous systems respond to unpredictability and coparenting conflict• Why your body may feel constantly “on alert” after narcissistic abuse• Hypervigilance, overthinking, fawning, and emotional exhaustion• The impact of high-conflict coparenting on sleep, sensory overwhelm, executive functioning, your parenting bandwidth, and your work capacity.• Why autistic women often mask, fawn, or over-explain under stress• How nervous system dysregulation affects communication and legal strategy• Why emotional detachment is difficult when the body still feels unsafe Welcome to Season 3 of Light in the Battle : InnerStability — a podcast for autistic women healing from narcissistic abuse, where we become clearer, calmer, and spiritually and legally harder to mess with.In Season 2, we focused on Emotional Detachment:* Breaking the Trauma Bond* PTSD and CPTSD recovery * forgiveness, not reconciliation* codependency as a general concept but more specifically in autistic women here.* the importance of fellowship and mentorship* gratitude after narcissistic abuse* surrender* griefThe goal was to suggest an overall journey to go through in order to detach and become a Family Court Ninja. Here we move into the next phase, learning how to stabilize your nervous system while living through high-conflict realities. In your daily to day.  Because understanding narcissistic abuse, post-separation abuse and legal abuse is one thing.But functioning calmly, strategically and consistently while dealing with family court anxiety, co-parenting conflict, unpredictability, and emotional pressure, is something else entirely.For many survivors of narcissistic abuse, high-conflict co-parenting becomes more than a legal situation.It becomes a chronic nervous system stressor.And autistic women are especially vulnerable to this because many of us rely on:* predictability, * emotional safety, * routine,* clear rules to follow,to function well.When those disappear, the nervous system may begin reacting as though danger is constant. That can look like:* re-reading messages repeatedly* adrenaline spikes when you hear notifications* freezing during conflict* difficulty relaxing when the child is away* constant mental scanning. This episode is not about blaming yourself for your reactions. It’s about understanding why your system responds this way — and why regulation matters.Because you cannot stay strategic, emotionally detached or calm under pressure, if your nervous system is constantly in survival mode.This season is about learning how to build Inner Stability.👉 Follow the show to continue Season 3👉Leave a 5* review if this podcast is helping you navigate trauma recovery, autism (ASD), and high-conflict co-parenting👉 Follow Light in the Battle on Facebook for daily hacks and to DM me directly if needed. Take it one day at a time.Disclaimer: This podcast shares lived experience related tonarcissistic abuse recovery, trauma recovery, autism and ASD. It is not a substitute for professional medical, legal, or mental health advice.High conflict coparenting, high conflict divorce, family court, custody battle, narcissistic abuse survivor, autism, autistic single mother

Your nervous system has been trained to stay on high alert. That's what's familiar. And so being calm feels unsafe. Over time, and it's an integral part of PTSD or CPTSD recovery, you can train your nervous system to enjoy those moments of calm. They're actually what will make you more impactful in family court, and they're an integral part of narcissistic abuse recovery. When navigating narcissistic abuse, prolonged post-separation abuse and legal abuse, you may be carrying CPTSD or PTSD. Add ADHD and ASD into the mix, and you've got a pretty messed up nervous system. The good news is that just like your nervous system was trained for stress, you can train it to enjoy peace, and calm. Not a legal nor mental health professional. Bring anything that resonates to the attention of a professional. Find me on Facebook at ⁠Light in the Battle⁠ where we can chat. I still have time to help survivors see through the fog, to assist them with their mindset shift, and I do this for free at the moment. www.lightinthebattle.com

We've been trained to explain ourselves. Either through a toxic abusive relationship, through a lifetime of living with autism and being misunderstood, or by walking the journey of raising a child with autism and/or PDA. It's taking energy away from what matters: your mental health, and your kids. When people are committed to misunderstanding you, consciously or not, share what you have to share and keep it moving. In this episode Faustina reflects on her journey with all of the above and explains why sharing less, is actually safer. In the context of coparenting with a narcissist, or someone who exhibits dysfunctional traits of behavior, the way you communicate, and how much content you produce as you attempt to explain your decisions, can be used against you in family court. Judges won't be able to see who the safe, child-focused parent is if you ramble and come from an emotional place. Detach, share what you legally have to share, and be on your merry way. In the context of raising a PDA child, you'll be making decisions that most parents won't understand. And unless they are willing to educate themselves and research PDA, there is approximately zero point in explaining why you're raising the kids this or that way. It's not your job to educate people when every ounce of your energy must be preserved. In the context of a late autism diagnosis, and faced with the adjustments that you make to your life as you start to unmask, the people who have known you for a long time won't take it well either. Maybe they can't be friends with the person you really are without the autistic masking. Maybe they weren't the right people for you all along. Unless they behave like safe people, they don't deserve your explanations. You're already exhausted from figuring out how to function in a neurotypical world. Please take whatever resonates with you to the attention of a legal or mental health professional. You DO have to disclose certain things to your coparent, and you DO want to build safe connection with your safe people as you crawl your way out of CPTSD or PTSD.

In this short episode, we’re talking about something that keeps many survivors stuck: closure.We’re often told we need:an apologyaccountabilityunderstandinga “clean ending”But in high-conflict dynamics — and especially after narcissistic abuse — that closure often never comes.And waiting for it can keep you:emotionally attachedmentally replaying the paststuck in a loop of “maybe one day they’ll get it”• Why closure is often unavailable after narcissistic abuse - the self-verification concept is what makes it impossible• How waiting for understanding keeps you tied to the other person• The difference between external closure and internal decision• Why emotional detachment requires letting go of being understood• How to move forward without resolution• The link between closure, surrender, and trauma recoveryClosure is not something you need the other person to give you. Because needing anything from someone with narcissistic tendencies is dangerous.Closure is another thing to let go of. “I understand what happened. I don’t like it. I don’t agree with it. But I accept that this is who they are.”From there, you stop:re-explainingrehashingtrying to be understoodAnd you start moving forward without needing their version of the story.For autistic women navigating trauma recovery and narcissistic abuse recovery, this shift is key to breaking emotional attachment and reclaiming your energy.You don’t need the story to end cleanly.You need to stop revisiting it - which may require a bit of trauma work.👉 Follow the show for more short, practical episodes on emotional detachment, autism (ASD), and high-conflict co-parenting👉 Leave a review if this content is helping you move forwardDisclaimer: This podcast shares lived experience related to narcissistic abuse recovery, trauma recovery, autism and ASD. It is not a substitute for professional medical, legal, or mental health advice.Take it one day at a time.