30. Stop Explaining Yourself – to your High-Conflict Coparent, as an ASD Mom, or as the Parent of a PDA child: Narcissistic Abuse and PTSD Recovery and Reclaiming your Agency.
MAY 17, 202610 MIN
30. Stop Explaining Yourself – to your High-Conflict Coparent, as an ASD Mom, or as the Parent of a PDA child: Narcissistic Abuse and PTSD Recovery and Reclaiming your Agency.
MAY 17, 202610 MIN
Description
<p>We've been trained to explain ourselves. Either through a toxic abusive relationship, through a lifetime of living with autism and being misunderstood, or by walking the journey of raising a child with autism and/or PDA. </p><p><br></p><p>It's taking energy away from what matters: your mental health, and your kids. When people are committed to misunderstanding you, consciously or not, share what you have to share and keep it moving. </p><p><br></p><p>In this episode Faustina reflects on her journey with all of the above and explains why sharing less, is actually safer. </p><p><br></p><p>In the context of coparenting with a narcissist, or someone who exhibits dysfunctional traits of behavior, the way you communicate, and how much content you produce as you attempt to explain your decisions, can be used against you in family court. Judges won't be able to see who the safe, child-focused parent is if you ramble and come from an emotional place. Detach, share what you legally have to share, and be on your merry way. </p><p><br></p><p>In the context of raising a PDA child, you'll be making decisions that most parents won't understand. And unless they are willing to educate themselves and research PDA, there is approximately zero point in explaining why you're raising the kids this or that way. It's not your job to educate people when every ounce of your energy must be preserved. </p><p><br></p><p>In the context of a late autism diagnosis, and faced with the adjustments that you make to your life as you start to unmask, the people who have known you for a long time won't take it well either. Maybe they can't be friends with the person you really are without the autistic masking. Maybe they weren't the right people for you all along. Unless they behave like safe people, they don't deserve your explanations. You're already exhausted from figuring out how to function in a neurotypical world. </p><p><br></p><p>Please take whatever resonates with you to the attention of a legal or mental health professional. You DO have to disclose certain things to your coparent, and you DO want to build safe connection with your safe people as you crawl your way out of CPTSD or PTSD. </p>
