By the end of the gratitude journal, the breath work, the affirmation in the mirror, you felt worse, not better. You're not failing at positivity. You're using tools that were never designed to do what you're asking them to do. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Deepika Chopra, the clinical health psychologist known as The Optimism Doctor and the author of the new book The Power of Real Optimism. Deepika has spent over a decade studying why optimism is a skill, not a personality trait, and her work has appeared everywhere from the TODAY Show to Forbes to Vogue. She joined me to explain why forced positivity actually makes anxiety worse, and what real, durable optimism looks like when you stop performing it and start practicing it. In this conversation, you'll learn: Why an optimist isn't someone who feels good all the time, and what they're actually doing differently in their head The exact reason 'I am confident' affirmations can deepen self-doubt, and how to phrase them so your brain stops detecting them as a lie The specific moment Deepika's optimism work was tested in the hardest way it could be, and what shifted for her in the middle of it Why scheduling worry time actually reduces anxiety instead of feeding it The ta-da list (yes, ta-da) and why it rewires what your brain pays attention to at the end of the day The one mental shift that moves you from rumination to agency when nothing about your circumstances has changed What modeling real optimism for the people who love you actually looks like, especially if those people are your kids This episode is for anyone who has tried to think their way into feeling better and quietly felt like a fraud doing it. If you've ever closed a self-help book and felt worse, if you've ever heard someone say 'good vibes only' and wanted to throw something, if you're currently navigating something genuinely hard and tired of being told to look on the bright side, this conversation will give you something more honest, and more useful, than any of that. Episode Breakdown 00:00 The Permission You Didn't Know You Needed 04:38 How Dr. Deepika Became the Optimism Doctor 18:20 What Real Optimism Actually Is (And What It Isn't) 23:55 Why Most Approaches to Positivity Backfire 27:25 The Brain Is an Anticipatory Organ 31:15 How to Find Agency When Everything Feels Out of Control 46:35 The Ta-Da List and Why It Works 48:55 Scheduled Worry Time (Yes, Really) 51:30 Modeling Optimism for the People Watching You 54:00 What Real Resilience Actually Builds Resources Full episode article and resources Free What's Holding You Back? quiz Life coaching with our team Personal growth coaching If something in this conversation landed for you, share it with one person. You probably already have someone in mind, the friend who's been white-knuckling their way through something hard. Send it to them. And follow the show wherever you listen so you don't miss what's coming next. XO, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast Upwork — When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. OSEA — Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamalibu.com for 10% off your first order. LNutra Prolon — A science-backed, plant-based nutrition program that supports fat loss, metabolism, cellular rejuvenation, and overall longevity. Head to ProlonLife.com/LHS for 15% off your first order + a bonus gift.