I have a genuine love of chocolate. It started when I was a toddler. My aunt owned a convenience store and occasionally brought me to work with her. She would prop me behind the cash register and let me eat any chocolate bars and sweets I wanted. I don’t remember this, probably because of the sugar coma, but she told me I acted like I was in candy heaven!
Throughout my childhood, my love of chocolate only increased. My favourite candy was Nestle’s Smarties. Whenever my brother and I each received a box of these treats, I would convince him (he tells me he always knew what I was doing) to combine our boxes so we had even more Smarties. I would eat three-quarters of the combined amount, leaving my brother with less than he started. I know, it’s terrible! My chocolate obsession led to manipulative behaviours. I was being selfish and did not consider my brother’s needs.
A 2015 study showed that children aged 6-12 are 50% more likely to act selfishly in resource-sharing tasks than adolescents aged 13-18, who display increased fairness and altruism. Selfishness is a problem, but it is not impossible to overcome.
Consider what God’s Word says:
2 Corinthians 9:6-7: “Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”
Proverbs 11:25: “A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.”
As parents, we have the opportunity to model generosity. Selfless acts of kindness increase joy, leading to blessings for both the giver and receiver.
Practising generosity in your family will combat selfishness among your children. Here are some practical ways to model generosity as a family:
1. Lead by example. Let your kids see you being generous daily, whether sharing food with a neighbour, donating to a cause, or offering your time to help someone.
2. Encourage sharing. Encourage siblings to share toys, books, and treats with one another. Praise them when they do it without being asked, reinforcing positive behaviour. Set up fun games that involve sharing, like dividing snacks during a picnic or creating a “community toy pile” that everyone plays with together.
3. Make giving a family activity. Find age-appropriate volunteer opportunities like helping at a food bank, animal shelter, or church serving opportunities. Kids learn the importance of sharing their time, not just material things. During special occasions like birthdays or holidays, ask your child to pick toys or clothes they no longer use to donate to others in need. Set up a jar where the family contributes loose change or money. Once it’s complete, let the kids help decide which charity or cause to donate to.
4. Practise tithing. Remind your kids that everything they have received is a blessing from God. Giving a portion of our time and finances back to God shows that we trust him and help support His work in our community and world.
