It may feel strange to partner Easter and marriage together, but believe it or not, they aren’t as far apart as we may think. The crux of the Easter event is Jesus’ willingness to lay down his life. Though guiltless and sinless, Jesus gave up his life so that humanity had the best picture possible of what love looked like. Love is not motivated by selfish interests. It is not about self-preservation at all costs. It isn’t about an ascent to power. Rather, love is defined as a posture of service. This is what Jesus demonstrated in his willing death. The word for this is “kenosis”—it’s a self-emptying for the sake of the other. And marriage, in so many ways, is an invitation to do just that: give of ourselves for the sake of our spouse. If you’ve been married for any amount of time, then you know marriage is all about giving of yourself. But Jesus goes even further when he doesn’t just give us a model to follow in action but in attitude. He willingly gave, and it was in his willingness to give out of love and kindness without resentment or holding a grudge that we see what love is like to the core. It’s more than an action. It’s a way of being.

Ask This: 

Ask yourself these questions: 

• What are the biggest obstacles keeping you from showing a kind of “self-emptying” love towards your spouse? 
• How have you gone through the motions of looking out for the best interests of your spouse in action but not in attitude? 
• How does your attitude toward your spouse and not just your actions affect the way you see and feel towards them?

Try This: 

Think about something—a behaviour or a habit or anything about your spouse that currently drives you crazy—we’re talking annoying, not harmful. Work on changing your attitude towards that thing this month, and maybe even look for a way to celebrate it. Again, the point isn’t just to tolerate it or them, but to love them selflessly and in a way that allows them to be exactly who they are and for you to love them exactly as they are.