Happy in The Middle, The Christian Marriage & Midlife Podcast with Jane Copier

Jealousy is one of the most human emotions there is, and for many women it gets louder in midlife. In this episode, Jane answers a question from Sandy, a listener who just turned 50. A new neighbor has moved in who seems to have everything: a "perfect" body, a successful husband, plenty of money, and a warm welcome from Sandy's friends. Sandy feels tortured, can't stop thinking about her, and feels ridiculous for feeling this way. Jane explains why jealousy isn't the neighbor's fault, how the Self-Coaching Model shows that our thoughts create the feeling, and how to move from scarcity to abundance. She also shares a five-step process you can use the next time the sting hits. In this episode, you'll learn Why feeling jealous doesn't make you a bad person The difference between jealousy and envy, and why the tools work for both How the Self-Coaching Model (Circumstance, Thought, Feeling, Action, Result) shows where jealousy really comes from Why jealousy is a scarcity story ("she won, so I lost") and how to break it Why comparing your insides to someone else's outsides always leaves you short How jealousy can point you toward what you truly want, and whether you really want it A five-step process: notice it, find the thought, look for the insecurity, choose a new thought on purpose, and ask four powerful questions A simple challenge for this week: get curious about her instead of treating her as competition Key takeaway Someone else's blessing isn't a withdrawal from your account. There is enough, for her and for you. Scripture referenced Proverbs 14:30 (NIV): "A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones." Resources and mentions Coaching concepts adapted from Brooke Castillo, The Life Coach School Podcast, Ep #21: "Jealousy": Have a question for the show? Send it in, and it may be answered on a future episode of Happy in the Middle. Send your question to [email protected] 🍂 Fall Coaching Special: Private coaching sessions at $100 each, the lowest pricing since Jane started coaching in 2019. Book for yourself, for the two of you as a couple, or as a Christmas gift for your adult children. Offer Ends October 31st.: Six Sessions for only $600! https://www.jane-copier.com/offers/xyZ2hxkR Single Sessions, $150 https://www.jane-copier.com/offers/Kzt7DW7E/checkout Love this episode? Share it with another couple who could use a little help lightening up this season, and leave a review so more Gen X Christian women can find us. 🤗 Thanks for listening, please like, subscribe, and leave me a 5 star review, so that I can continue to provide helpful relationship content for all of us. Book a Free Consultation with Jane Get my FREE Marriage Reset Starter Kit: https://www.jane-copier.com/StarterKit Welcome to Happy in the Middle, with your host, The Christian Marriage Coach, Jane Copier. I’m Jane Copier, and you're listening to Happy in the Middle, a podcast for Christian women navigating marriage, family relationships, and the beautiful work of becoming who God created them to be. As the Christian Marriage Coach, each week I offer practical tools and faith-filled conversations to help women just like you, create deeper connection, healthier communication, and a life, -and marriage, they love to coming home to. Let’s dive in! 3 Simple Steps to Leave an iTunes Review: Click here to listen in iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/happy-in-the-middle-a-podcast-for-christian-midlife-women/id1715566489 Scroll down until you see the reviews, and then click the button that says, “Leave a Review” Leave your review! Easy peasy! Find Jane at: Website: https://janecopiercoaching.com TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@christianmarriagecoach IG: https://www.instagram.com/jane.copier.coaching/ FB: https://www.facebook.com/LDSChristianMarriageCoach Email: [email protected] ❤️ Fell like private coaching is a better fit for you? I'd be honored to walk with you. Book a Free Consultation

The leaves are turning, the pumpkin spice candle is burning, and somewhere in your house the TV has been claimed for football. 🏈 Whether your household lives and breathes football from September to February or you couldn't care less, this episode isn't really about the game. It's about what happens in a marriage when one person is all in and the other is along for the ride (or not on the ride at all). In this lighter, fall-themed episode, Christian marriage coach Jane shares four things football season, or any seasonal tradition, can reveal about your marriage, plus a simple two-minute homework assignment that can save you a whole lot of frustration and resentment. If you just finished the marriage series with us, consider this your exhale. If you're new, welcome, friend. You're in the right place. In this episode, you'll learn: How to make room for "his thing" or "her thing" with generosity instead of a running scorecard Why inviting your spouse without expecting a yes protects your joy (and what a granddaughter's "mud spa" taught Jane about it) How to protect couple time during a five-month football season without canceling the game A word-for-word way to tell your husband you miss him without starting a fight How unspoken expectations quietly become resentment, and how to stop that cycle Why playfulness and laughing at yourselves is one of the most underrated tools in marriage This week's homework: Have a two-minute conversation before Saturday: "What does this weekend look like for you? Which games matter most? Here's what I'd love if it works…" Scripture: Ecclesiastes 4:9, "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor." 🍂 Fall Coaching Special: Private coaching sessions at $100 each, the lowest pricing since Jane started coaching in 2019. Book for yourself, for the two of you as a couple, or as a Christmas gift for your adult children. Offer Ends October 31st.: Six Sessions for only $600! https://www.jane-copier.com/offers/xyZ2hxkR Single Sessions, $150 https://www.jane-copier.com/offers/Kzt7DW7E/checkout Love this episode? Share it with another couple who could use a little help lightening up this season, and leave a review so more Gen X Christian women can find us. 🤗 Thanks for listening, please like, subscribe, and leave me a 5 star review, so that I can continue to provide helpful relationship content for all of us. Book a Free Consultation with Jane Get my FREE Marriage Reset Starter Kit: https://www.jane-copier.com/StarterKit Welcome to Happy in the Middle, with your host, The Christian Marriage Coach, Jane Copier. I’m Jane Copier, and you're listening to Happy in the Middle, a podcast for Christian women navigating marriage, family relationships, and the beautiful work of becoming who God created them to be. As the Christian Marriage Coach, each week I offer practical tools and faith-filled conversations to help women just like you, create deeper connection, healthier communication, and a life, -and marriage, they love to coming home to. Let’s dive in! 3 Simple Steps to Leave an iTunes Review: Click here to listen in iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/happy-in-the-middle-a-podcast-for-christian-midlife-women/id1715566489 Scroll down until you see the reviews, and then click the button that says, “Leave a Review” Leave your review! Easy peasy! Find Jane at: Website: https://janecopiercoaching.com TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@christianmarriagecoach IG: https://www.instagram.com/jane.copier.coaching/ FB: https://www.facebook.com/LDSChristianMarriageCoach Email: [email protected]

Is your marriage ready for a reset? Do you love your spouse, but feel like something is missing from your marriage? Maybe you aren't fighting. Maybe your marriage looks fine from the outside. But perhaps you've become more like roommates than best friends…. You're functioning well together, but you're not really connecting. In this episode of Happy in the Middle, Jane Copier answers the most common questions about Marriage Reset, her eight-week guided coaching experience for couples who love each other but want to find each other again. You'll learn what Marriage Reset is, who it's for, what happens during the eight weeks, and what you can do if you're more motivated to improve your marriage than your spouse. If you're married and longing for more connection, friendship, emotional intimacy, better communication, and a shared vision for your next chapter, this conversation is for you. You are not too late. You can find each other again. Learn more and register for Marriage Reset Here Join Jane for her FREE Marriage Masterclass: "FIND EACH OTHER AGAIN" A fun and informative 60-minute workshop to help you and your partner learn to reconnect. You'll discover why loving couples can lose emotional connection, the patterns that create distance, and simple shifts that can help you begin finding your way back to each other. And if you can, come with your spouse. Make it a date night. Sit beside each other. Give your marriage one hour of your attention, -not because your marriage is broken, but because it matters. [REGISTER FOR THE FREE MARRIAGE MASTERCLASS] ❤️ Fell like private coaching is a better fit for you? I'd be honored to walk with you. Book a Free Consultation 🤗 Thanks for listening, please like, subscribe, and leave me a 5 star review, so that I can continue to provide helpful relationship content for all of us. Book a Free Consultation with Jane Get my FREE Marriage Reset Starter Kit: https://www.jane-copier.com/StarterKit Welcome to Happy in the Middle, with your host, The Christian Marriage Coach, Jane Copier. I’m Jane Copier, and you're listening to Happy in the Middle, a podcast for Christian women navigating marriage, family relationships, and the beautiful work of becoming who God created them to be. As the Christian Marriage Coach, each week I offer practical tools and faith-filled conversations to help women just like you, create deeper connection, healthier communication, and a life, -and marriage, they love to coming home to. Let’s dive in! 3 Simple Steps to Leave an iTunes Review: Click here to listen in iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/happy-in-the-middle-a-podcast-for-christian-midlife-women/id1715566489 Scroll down until you see the reviews, and then click the button that says, “Leave a Review” Leave your review! Easy peasy! Find Jane at: Website: https://janecopiercoaching.com TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@christianmarriagecoach IG: https://www.instagram.com/jane.copier.coaching/ FB: https://www.facebook.com/LDSChristianMarriageCoach Email: [email protected]

What are you and your spouse building together? What happens when a couple becomes really good at managing life together but forgets to intentionally live life together? You raise the kids. You manage the schedules. You go to work, attend church, pay the bills, take care of the house, and keep everything moving. And then one day, the kids are older. The house is quieter. Your careers change. The busy seasons begin to slow down. And you look across the table at the person you've been married to for 25 or 30 years and wonder: “What are we building now?” “What are we moving toward?” “What is our marriage actually for?” In this final episode of my six-part series on building a connected marriage, we're talking about shared purpose, -and why having a shared vision, shared values, and something meaningful to move toward together can profoundly strengthen your marriage. I'll share a deeply personal story from my husband's family during World War II about Kees and Christina and the little Jewish girl they risked everything to protect. Their story is a powerful example of what can happen when two people are bound together by something bigger than themselves. We'll also explore: Why shared purpose becomes especially important in midlife The difference between building a life together and living life together How shared purpose creates a stronger sense of “us” How knowing your core values can make decisions easier Why having something meaningful to work toward can strengthen teamwork How shared purpose can help couples navigate difficult seasons Why purpose gives your brain something more productive to work on than finding fault with your spouse How shared values can strengthen connection, friendship, and hope How to create a vision for the next chapter of your marriage Questions you can ask your spouse to begin discovering your shared purpose And I'll leave you with one question I hope you and your spouse will sit with: What are we building together? Your shared purpose doesn't have to be a grand calling. It might be raising children who know they are loved and know God, creating a welcoming home, serving your community, supporting each other's dreams, creating a family legacy, or simply becoming the kind of couple whose marriage blesses the people around them. Your purpose is personal and unique to you as a couple. And you don't have to have all the answers today. You can start with a conversation. What matters most to us? What do we want our marriage to stand for? Who do we want to bless? What kind of legacy do we want to leave? And what do we want to experience together while we're here? FREE MASTERCLASS: FIND EACH OTHER AGAIN If you've been listening to this six-part series and realizing that you and your spouse could use a reset, I'd love to invite you to my free marriage masterclass: Find Each Other Again This is designed to be a meaningful date night for the two of you, -an evening of turning toward each other, noticing what may have been lost, and beginning to create a marriage you love coming home to. Come as you are. You don't need a perfect marriage. You simply need to be willing to turn toward each other. [REGISTER FOR THE FREE MARRIAGE MASTERCLASS] PS - If you and your spouse love each other but want more connection, better communication, a stronger friendship, deeper intimacy, and a healthier partnership, learn more about Marriage Reset, Jane's eight-week guided coaching experience for couples who want to find their way back to each other. Learn more and register for Marriage Reset Here Free Marriage Masterclass, Sept. 22nd 7pm MT, 6pm PT, 8pm CT, 9pm ET If this episode made you think, “Jane… this is us,” don't wait until your marriage is in crisis to invest in it. Join Jane for her FREE Marriage Masterclass: "FIND EACH OTHER AGAIN" A fun and informative 60-minute workshop to help you and your partner learn to reconnect. You'll discover why loving couples can lose emotional connection, the patterns that create distance, and simple shifts that can help you begin finding your way back to each other. And if you can, come with your spouse. Make it a date night. Sit beside each other. Give your marriage one hour of your attention, -not because your marriage is broken, but because it matters.

What happens when you still love your spouse, but you don’t really like your marriage anymore? After years of raising children, managing a home, working, solving problems, and navigating life together, many couples slowly become good partners but stop being lovers, friends, and deeply connected companions. That’s exactly where Jane Copier found herself in her own marriage. In this episode of Happy in the Middle, Jane shares the vulnerable story of realizing that she loved her husband but didn’t want to spend the rest of her life in the marriage they had created. Rather than settling for emotional distance, she and her husband made the courageous decision to let their old marriage die so they could intentionally create something new. Jane explores what it really takes to restore intimacy, including the often-overlooked connection between the thoughts we think about our spouse, the feelings those thoughts create, and the actions we take toward them. You’ll discover why proximity isn’t intimacy, why resentment can change the way we see our spouse, and how becoming genuinely curious about the person your spouse has become can begin to bring aliveness back into your relationship. Most importantly, Jane offers hope: a cold marriage isn't necessarily a dead marriage. You may not be able to recreate the marriage you had when you were younger, but you can create a new marriage that is more intentional, honest, connected, playful, and intimate. In this episode, you'll learn: Why loving your spouse and liking your marriage can be two very different things What “marriage drift” can look like in everyday life Why proximity alone doesn't create intimacy How our thoughts and stories about our spouse influence our desire to turn toward them How resentment can become the lens through which we see our partner The difference between positive thinking and choosing more generous, truthful thoughts Why emotional intimacy requires honesty, curiosity, vulnerability, and presence How physical and sexual intimacy can grow from emotional connection Why the goal isn't to get your “old marriage” back How to begin creating a new and more alive marriage together If you've been thinking, “This is us,” Jane invites you to join her free Marriage Masterclass, Why Good Couples Slowly Grow Apart, where she'll unpack why loving couples drift apart, and the simple habits that can help them find each other again. Because sometimes the marriage doesn't need to end, the old version of the marriage does. And something better can take its place. Join Jane for her FREE Marriage Masterclass: "Find Each Other Again" A fun and informative 60-minute workshop to help you and your partner learn to reconnect. You'll discover why loving couples can lose emotional connection, the patterns that create distance, and simple shifts that can help you begin finding your way back to each other. And if you can, come with your spouse. Make it a date night. Sit beside each other. Give your marriage one hour of your attention, -not because your marriage is broken, but because it matters. [REGISTER FOR THE FREE MARRIAGE MASTERCLASS] AND, if you and your spouse love each other but want more connection, better communication, a stronger friendship, deeper intimacy, and a healthier partnership, learn more about Marriage Reset, Jane's eight-week guided coaching experience for couples who want to find their way back to each other. Learn more and register for Marriage Reset Here And be sure to tune in in the following weeks for the Rest of this Six Part Series. Coming next: Shared Values, Vision & Purpose — How to move from simply getting through life together to asking, “What are we building together?” Because you don't need a perfect marriage, you need an intentional one. Get my FREE Marriage Reset Starter Kit: https://www.jane-copier.com/StarterKit ❤️ Are you ready to make your marriage amazing? I'd be honored to walk with you. Book a Free Consultation 🤗 Thanks for listening, please like, subscribe, and leave me a 5 star review, so that I can continue to provide helpful relationship content for all of us. Book a Free Consultation with Jane: https://JaneCopierCoaching.as.me/Consultation Welcome to Happy in the Middle, with your host, The Christian Marriage Coach, Jane Copier. I’m Jane Copier, and you're listening to Happy in the Middle, a podcast for Christian women navigating marriage, family relationships, and the beautiful work of becoming who God created them to be. As the Christian Marriage Coach, each week I offer practical tools and faith-filled conversations to help women just like you, create deeper connection, healthier communication, and a life, -and marriage, they love to coming home to. Let’s dive in! 3 Simple Steps to Leave an iTunes Review: Click here to listen in iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/happy-in-the-middle-a-podcast-for-christian-midlife-women/id1715566489 Scroll down until you see the reviews, and then click the button that says, “Leave a Review” Leave your review! Easy peasy! Find Jane at: Website: https://janecopiercoaching.com TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@marriageandfamilycoach IG: https://www.instagram.com/jane.copier.coaching/ FB: https://www.facebook.com/LDSChristianMarriageCoach Email: [email protected]