Honeydew Me

Last episode Dr. Somi told us that pain during sex is common but not normal, and we haven’t stopped thinking about it. So this week it’s just us, no doctor in the room, talking about all the other shit we’ve been told to soldier through as women. Cass is currently bleeding through an IUD because of a fibroid (hi, it’s graphic, sorry), but her endometriosis story goes back more than a decade, with upwards of 15 doctors and multiple surgeries. Em gets into her appointment from hell, where she worked up the courage to say “my sex drive is gone” and was told to drink some wine and “just try” for 10 minutes. We get into the weeks we spend rehearsing what to say to a doctor, the absolute bullshit we’re met with anyway, and the pain we endure because it feels like it’s not worth the time or the co-pay. Plus why a man with a sore peepee gets a full investigation while we get “it’s just cramps,” and what Cass wants to teach her daughter about pain (and what Em is taking forward from all of it). If you’ve ever left an appointment feeling gaslit, defeated, or wondering if you’re just making it all up... this ep is for you, booboo. We’re also resharing Dr. Somi’s resource for finding a doctor who won’t gaslight you. Girls Night Out in Portland is this Saturday, November 14th. Get your tickets HERE! Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com * Check out Vinted: https://www.vinted.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

If sex hurts, you’ve stopped wanting it, or it just doesn’t feel like it used to, there’s a good chance a doctor has gaslit you into thinking that’s normal. NOT ON OUR WATCH. Dr. Somi Javaid, a board-certified OB/GYN, menopause and sexual health specialist, and founder of HerMD, spent two decades treating these exact issues, and she’s here to say you don’t have to live this way. She joins Em and Cass for a conversation about painful sex, mismatched sex drives, and the two FDA-approved medications for low desire (she took one herself when her own drive disappeared). They also get into how to find a doctor who takes you seriously, and why perimenopause can start earlier than you think. What you’ll learn: Why painful sex is common but NOT normal, plus the 19-question quiz and the details that get a doctor to take you seriously The fixes nobody’s talking about: moisturizers, localized hormones, a vibrator you use before sex, and pelvic floor PT you can do from your couch Why birth control, breastfeeding, and perimenopause can all leave you dry (and why perimenopause can actually start in your early 30s) Why a mismatched sex drive doesn’t mean you’re broken, and what to try before reaching for medication (audio erotica, a clitoral pump, and more) Why Viagra was approved in six months, while the first drug for low desire in women took six years (and the “wine or sex” contract women had to sign) One of the top reasons women struggle to orgasm (it’s not what you’d guess) How to find a specialist who won’t gaslight you, filtered by zip code and by whether they take your insurance Connect with Dr. Somi and listen to her podcast HERE! Wanna hang out IRL? Come to our event in Portland, OR on Nov. 14th 2026. Click HERE for tickets! Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com * Check out Vinted: https://www.vinted.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“My ex told me I have a wide vagina. Am I normal?” That’s this week’s listener confession. And after six years of reading listener messages, we can tell you with certainty that some version of “is my vagina normal?” is the single most-asked question we get. SO HERE WE GO. We dive into the medical facts (we looked them up), the biology, and the much bigger issue we need to be addressing: why men go straight for comments about our bodies when they want to hurt us and how to stop letting it get to you. We Cover: The medical truth on “wide set vaginas” (spoiler: Mean Girls lied, it isn’t a real term, and here’s what Dr. Jennifer Wider actually says about vaginal diameter) Why your physiology (aka AROUSAL) might be the reason he felt “less friction” The reason insulting a woman’s body is a shitty man's go to when they want to hurt you The reframe every vagina owner NEEDS to internalize... your vagina is normal, your labia are normal, your taste and smell are normal, all of it What to actually do if there IS a real size mismatch in a relationship (there are a thousand solutions, we cover a few) AND why even if you DO have a wide vagina it literally doesn't matter, and you are perfection personified Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @honeydewmepodcast. If you're in the Portland, OR area don't forget to join our "Portland, OR Girlies" group chat in our Instagram bio! Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com * Check out Vinted: https://www.vinted.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Rock-solid confidence, sex you genuinely enjoy, and healthier relationships all start with actually knowing yourself. This week, Em & Cass are talking with Laura Rubin, a creative coach, journaling expert, and founder of AllSwell Creative. She’s led breakthrough writing workshops for tens of thousands of people, been covered by The New York Times, Washington Post, Vogue, and Forbes, and built a career blending neuroscience and mindfulness to prove that writing by hand actually rewires how you think and feel. She joins Em and Cass to share how journaling can become the catalyst for confident decisions, healthier relationships, and better conversations in bed. If you're thinking... “I always start a journal, go hard for a week, and quit.” Laura's got a 4-minute practice that will literally rock your world and make journaling feel practical and accessible. “I don't even know what I would write about." Laura shares specific prompts to help you navigate your trickiest intimacy moments (when you don’t like how you look naked, when you have no idea what turns you on, when you can’t tell what’s yours vs. what you’ve been told to want). “Isn’t this just more wellness bullshit?” Laura didn't come here to BS. She's sharing the science-backed, FREE methods to actually change your life both in the bedroom and beyond. “Will this actually change anything in my sex life or my relationships?” Yes. Press play already. Connect with Laura and AllSwell Creative on Instagram and on her website. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @honeydewmepodcast. Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com * Check out Vinted: https://www.vinted.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Last week, a top couples therapist presented us with the research. This week it’s just us, no therapist in the room, trading what has actually worked in our own long-term relationships (and what has very much not). Cass gets into her current trying-list for keeping sex alive when she's tired, parenting, and has nothing left. Em gets into how she ruined sex for herself in past relationships without even realizing it. Cass opens up for the first time, with her husband’s permission, about his bipolar diagnosis and the “my person wouldn’t do that” story she had to let go of to stay married. For anyone who felt called tf out by last week's episode and wants the unqualified besties version. What you’ll learn: The two “secrets” we’re actually using to keep our relationships alive and thriving (tbh therapists might not agree lol) Cass’s current trying-list for keeping sex alive 10 years into her long-term love (pink pill, non-sexual touch, accountability for her desire, and actually using the resources we talk about) Why using sex as a repair tool is the fastest way to kill it, and what to use it for instead How to tell when you’ve slipped into a story about your partner (“they don’t get me,” “my person wouldn’t do that”) and how to quit before it ruins your relationship Our actual rules for what you can and can’t tell your friends about fights with your partner The habits we each need to kick to feel like adults in our relationships (one of us is lazy, one of us is a control freak) The very petty list of what the men we’ve slept with need to start doing to qualify as grownups Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @honeydewmepodcast. Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com * Check out Vinted: https://www.vinted.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy