ADHD, Attention, and Why Orgasms Are Inconsistent

Around 20 to 30% of women struggle to orgasm during partnered sex. And while there are plenty of reasons that get talked about — relationship issues, technique, and types of sex — they don't necessarily explain why it's so inconsistent. Why sometimes you can come, sometimes you can't, and you can't for the life of you find the pattern. This week, I dig into a recent study that points to a factor most of us are barely looking at — and it might just be the missing piece. We explore: Why coming during partnered sex can be so inconsistent — and what the latest research can tell us about it The surprising difference between inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive ADHD when it comes to orgasmic consistency Why orgasm requires sustained attention, and how our culture trains us out of the exact thing sex needs us to do The link between neurodivergence and kink — and what it tells us about staying present during sex Concrete, science-backed ways to increase orgasm consistency during sex with a partner, ADHD symptoms or not Timestamps: 03:47 — What the research found about ADHD and orgasms 06:07 — Why your ADHD subtype matters for coming 08:43 — Why presence during sex is so hard 14:14 — How shame carries into the bedroom 16:55 — Practical ways to stay present during sex 17:46 — The surprising link between ADHD and kink The study in this episode: Exploring Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder Symptomatology in Relation to Women's Orgasmic Consistency Published in the Journal of Sex Research by Jensen-Fogt and Pedersen. Interested in my services? Check them out here Join my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here. Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link