Locked and Probably Loaded with DJ and Kelly

***Spoilers for You Can See Everything and Whalefall.*** DJ Qualls and Kelly Blackheart are back, and DJ’s new refrigerator has committed a personal betrayal: the ice is too small. Naturally, this becomes a discussion about ice rationing, American drinking standards, and why Kelly thinks DJ’s relationship with his car sounds suspiciously familiar. Before leaving for their Catalina and Ensenada cruise, they get into jury duty, the cost of living in California, taxes, and recycling frustrations. Then it’s time to unpack You Can See Everything, the Elizabeth Holmes documentary from Nathan Fielder and Lance Oppenheim—and the difference between a machine that works and one that might work someday. Plus: their Whalefall reactions, including ghost-dad conversations, questionable whale anatomy, and DJ discovering that watching from underneath a blanket improves the experience. Spoilers for You Can See Everything and Whalefall. Follow @loadedpod. Email [email protected]. Join patreon.com/loadedpod for episodes a week early with video, extended conversations, and monthly live happy hours. This week on Patreon: The Other Mommy, horror-movie logic, Kelly’s thoughts on Digger, and DJ’s defense of a little actor instability. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

This week on Locked & Probably Loaded with DJ Qualls and Kelly Blackheart, DJ and Kelly return to the movies with some important questions: Has Netflix become Lifetime? Should actual movie quality require another subscription tier? And if you take three naps without losing the plot, is that good storytelling or a problem? First, they prepare for a Halloween cruise, consider what an ’80s night really requires, and discover a new breakup excuse: “My deodorant made me forget you.” Then they explain how Special Forces derailed their Avengers plans. George Santos’s helicopter dive inspires unexpected admiration—and DJ explains why attempting the same thing would turn him into a human kite. Their review of Unabomber gets into its performances, production value, and the difference between understanding someone’s history and excusing their actions. Naturally, this also leads to Netflix’s imaginary “real movie tier,” Sandra Bullock’s lack of professional confidence as a witch in Practical Magic, and a movie superlative Netflix probably shouldn’t put on the poster. Next up is Primetime, which leaves Kelly impressed by the filmmaking and frustrated by the story. DJ gives it four stars, takes several naps, and delivers a much stronger endorsement of the theater’s seats. Kelly’s six-star rating somehow becomes the controversial opinion. Plus: a proposed fee for hearing your movie complaints, another refusal to reconsider Lisa Frankenstein, and the promise of a couch investigation on Patreon. Join DJ and Kelly for movie reviews, questionable superlatives, pop culture, personal stories, and whatever the hell happens when these two try to stay on topic. Contains adult language and discussion of film storylines. CHAPTERS 00:00 — Intro 00:46 — Our Halloween Cruise Requires Commitment 02:49 — “My Deodorant Made Me Forget You” 04:59 — DJ & Kelly at the Movies… Almost 06:18 — Special Forces Made Us Miss Avengers 07:23 — George Santos Nails the Dive. DJ Would Become a Kite. 09:45 — DJ & Kelly at the Movies, Take Two 10:12 — Unabomber: Our Review 11:52 — Netflix Is the New Lifetime 14:27 — You Are a Witch. Why Are You Surprised? 15:33 — Understanding Someone Isn’t Excusing Them 16:27 — Movie Superlatives Netflix Shouldn’t Use 17:47 — Primetime: Big Expectations 18:58 — Six Stars?! The Ratings Disagreement 19:30 — Your Movie Complaint Will Cost You 20:00 — Great Filmmaking. Where’s the Story? 22:01 — An Apparition & Extremely Comfortable Theater Seats 23:43 — Three Naps. Zero Confusion. 25:14 — We’re Still Not Budging on Lisa Frankenstein 25:53 — Wrap-Up & the Promise of Couch Pills Listen early on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/loadedpod Find us on social media: @LoadedPod Email: [email protected] More from the show: https://www.loadedpod.com Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

This week on Locked & Probably Loaded with DJ Qualls and Kelly Blackheart, DJ and Kelly start with the important questions: Is LA dining actually a scam? Why are people spending $22 on Erewhon smoothies? And why does losing weight require your body to betray you in precisely the wrong order? DJ prepares for an extended trip to Vancouver, reveals the consequences of taking entirely too much magnesium, and shows Kelly the nearly 300-year-old Chinese plate he's donating to a charity auction. Somehow, this leads naturally to J. Paul Getty, trickle-down economics, and politics. Then the conversation turns serious as Kelly and DJ discuss the allegations surrounding the Cornell sexual-assault case, the institutional response to sexual violence on college campuses, victim blaming, and why a survivor's behavior after an assault doesn't determine whether the assault happened. They also get into the latest political circus surrounding Jack Smith before discovering a potentially lucrative new business model: if you hate the podcast, pay them to read your insult on the air. They'll apparently also consider breaking up with someone for you. Pricing TBD. Join DJ and Kelly for another episode of comedy, culture, politics, personal stories, and whatever the hell happens when these two try to have a normal conversation. CHAPTERS 00:00 — Feminine Rage & DJ's Stomach Problems 02:56 — Is LA Dining a Scam? 05:23 — DJ's Search for the Perfect Pizza 05:47 — The War Against Belly Fat 07:47 — American Healthcare vs. Just Flying to Canada 09:01 — “I Go to the Doctor All the Time. Look at My Face.” 09:27 — DJ's Magnesium Mistake 11:10 — The 300-Year-Old Plate 14:35 — Screw You, Getty Center 16:03 — Rich People & Trickle-Down Economics 17:38 — Cornell & Sexual Assault on College Campuses 25:24 — DJ's Extensive Alcohol “Market Research” 27:15 — Why Talking About This Matters 31:38 — The Jack Smith Senate Clown Show 38:49 — “The Only Thing You Can Buy Is the Lies” 39:16 — Surviving Terrible Things With Stupid Jokes 40:00 — Pay Us to Read Your Hate Mail 41:12 — Want Us to Break Up With Someone? Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

DJ has been designing bathrooms, Kelly is manifesting a Costco door, and somehow this leads directly into a discussion about a United Airlines passenger allegedly masturbating next to another passenger—and DJ immediately begins investigating the legal loopholes. Then it’s time for another edition of DJ & Kelly at the Movies. This week: Resident Evil gets high marks, 4D snow changes the theatrical experience, DJ explains his profound hatred of tentacles, and a discussion about Austin Abrams sends DJ into a full anti-method-acting manifesto. Next up is The Weight, featuring Ethan Hawke, Russell Crowe, an inexplicably well-equipped woman in the wilderness, and the realization that Regal Unlimited is exactly how you discover movies you otherwise never would have seen. Also: internet problems briefly remove Kelly from her own podcast, leaving DJ alone long enough to perform Frozen from memory despite never having seen it. 00:00 DJ's Actor Warm-Ups 01:02 DJ Finally Watched Anchorman 02:04 Purple Drink vs. Yellow Drink 03:10 DJ Becomes a Home Renovator 06:03 Kelly's Dream House & the Costco Door 09:12 Is the House Next Door a Front? 10:09 DJ Completely Stops Listening 10:34 The Least Sexy Sex Show in Amsterdam 12:25 United's Airplane Masturbation Problem 12:58 DJ Finds a Business Opportunity 13:23 Sodom, Gomorrah & Airline Policy 14:16 Is It Illegal Under a Blanket? 14:44 "The Man Is Innocent" 16:10 DJ vs. American Airlines 17:53 AD BREAK 18:01 DJ & Kelly at the Movies 19:10 Resident Evil Review 20:31 "DoorDash From Hell" 21:24 What Worked — and DJ Hates Tentacles 23:24 Austin Abrams & Method Acting 24:59 DJ Declares War on Method Actors 27:37 Why Resident Evil Works 29:13 The 4D Movie Experience 30:53 Kelly's Internet Dies 31:11 DJ Performs Frozen 33:12 The Wait Review 34:34 Avengers: Endgame Encore 37:05 The Wait Ratings 38:11 The Mary Poppins of the Navajo 39:28 DJ Hates Nerdology 41:09 The Wait Superlatives 42:35 DJ Performs Frozen... Again 42:57 PATREON Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

DJ has found a new way to have less fun, Kelly introduces a structured movie-review segment, and the two discover that five stars simply aren't enough. This week: Hope, Practical Magic 2 and The Uprising, featuring alien subplots, extremely attractive but annoying magicians, incomprehensible accents and a medieval movie that apparently borrowed its camera crew from The Office.