Outsmart Burnout: The Podcast for High-Achieving Women with Dr. Zarya Rubin

Summary Dr. Mel Thacker is a practicing ENT surgeon, master coach, host of the Surgeons with Purpose podcast and two-time TEDx speaker on a mission to rehumanize the profession of surgery. She knew at 13 that she wanted to be a doctor, and she believes now that it was a response to childhood trauma. For years, overachieving worked, but in 2021, with the pandemic stripping away her coping mechanisms and her sense of safety at work, she had a panic attack in the middle of a routine in-office procedure. In this conversation, Mel and I talk about why burnout so often starts in childhood rather than at work, what it took for her to find out who she was underneath the surgeon identity. Her new memoir, "Scrubbing In: A Surgeon's Journey from Self-Doubt to Wholeness," is out now, so grab a copy wherever you get your books! Key Takeaways Burnout rarely starts at work. A nervous system conditioned in childhood to live in survival mode gets rewarded for high output, until the wheels come off. "If you ignore your demons, they go down in the basement and lift weights." What you push away gets louder, not quieter. The first complication, unhappy patient, board complaint or lawsuit can wake old wounds. In those moments you feel like a much younger version of yourself, called into the principal's office. Shame can't survive the light of day. Telling your story to a compassionate witness shrinks what felt like a monster. Get the thoughts out of your head, by voice memo or on paper, so you can look at them and ask: is that actually true? Turn the villain into a challenger, and you stop being the victim and become the creator. Protect the asset: you. Boundaries, like pushing a start time back after a sleepless call night, are not weakness. When you are well resourced, you give from a full cup. Healing doesn't always mean leaving. Mel integrated who she is with who she is as a surgeon, and found joy in surgery again. Timestamps 00:04 – Introduction to Dr. Mel Thacker 01:40 – Knowing at 13: becoming a doctor to matter 05:50 – Living a double life: polished outside, falling apart inside 10:04 – Survival mode, external validation and the pandemic unmasking 14:27 – When work starts to feel like danger 16:15 – The panic attack mid-procedure 20:39 – Sleepless, searching for help, and overachieving at self-care 23:55 – Who am I without surgery? Shame and the compassionate witness 26:15 – Integration and finding joy in surgery again 29:51 – Self-medicating with success and overriding the body's signals 33:54 – Pushing back a start time to sleep: boundaries as rebellion 41:12 – Seeing yourself as the asset 42:28 – Why she wrote "Scrubbing In" 44:12 – What she'd tell her former self: the chrysalis 46:23 – Rapid Fire Round Guest Contact Website: melthackercoaching.com Instagram: @the_surgeon_coach Podcast: Surgeons with Purpose Book: "Scrubbing In: A Surgeon's Journey from Self-Doubt to Wholeness" (available October 6) Connect with Dr. Zarya Rubin, founder of The Afterglow Collective: Website: www.theafterglowcollective.com IG: www.instagram.com/outsmartburnout Get your FREE Burnout to Becoming Roadmap: https://theafterglowcollective.myflodesk.com/essentialsix Book a FREE Consult with Dr. Zarya: https://calendly.com/drzarya/free-burnout-consult Reach out with questions or to book Dr. Zarya to speak at your next event: [email protected]

Summary Dr. Mandy Lehto was a Director at a global investment bank and a single mother who moved up the ranks fast. Then burnout caught up with her, and a workout that ended in a blackout became her tipping point. Today she is a Cambridge PhD, an executive coach to Fortune 500 leaders and the host of Enough, the Podcast. She tells Dr. Zarya what the early signs of burnout felt like, why she tried to overachieve her way to healing, and how surrender, community and inner child work changed her relationship with achievement. They also talk about why nobody Googles "how can I be enough," why pushing through is often exhaustion in disguise, and what people really talk about at a funeral. Key Takeaways When your old winning strategy stops working, doing more of it makes things worse. What Mandy needed was rest, which felt like weakness.Achievement is "the only addiction that we're publicly validated for." Healing can become one more thing to overachieve at: nutritionists, acupuncture, Reiki and meditation, all hoping for a fix. Burnout often traces back to childhood patterns about who you had to be to be accepted. Nobody Googles how to be enough. Enough is a felt sense that comes and goes like weather, even though your wholeness is permanent. At a funeral, nobody talks about CVs. Relationships are where Mandy now feels most grounded. Pushing through can look like strength, but it is often exhaustion. Staying with hard feelings long enough shows you what wisdom is there. Timestamps 00:02 – Introduction to Dr. Mandy Lehto 02:15 – From a funeral home flower shop to Cambridge and investment banking 05:22 – The pressure cooker and the first signs of burnout 10:47 – The workout that ended in a blackout 17:04 – Why "no pain, no gain" runs so deep 23:08 – The stages of burnout and healing at all costs 26:34 – Surrender, identity and the first green shoots 32:04 – Why nobody Googles "how can I be enough" 39:47 – What matters at a funeral 43:53 – Rapid Fire Round Guest Contact Website and quizzes: www.mandylehto.com Podcast: Enough, the Podcast (wherever you listen) Instagram: @mandylehto 7 Stages of Burnout - on FRIED, the Burnout Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mandy-lehto-the-7-realistic-phases-of-burnout/id1469939920?i=1000622922321 Connect with Dr. Zarya Rubin, founder of The Afterglow Collective: Website: www.theafterglowcollective.com IG: www.instagram.com/outsmartburnout Get your FREE Burnout to Becoming Roadmap: https://theafterglowcollective.myflodesk.com/essentialsix Book a FREE Consult with Dr. Zarya: https://calendly.com/drzarya/free-burnout-consult Reach out with questions or to book Dr. Zarya to speak at your next event: [email protected] Vote for Outsmart Burnout in the Signal Awards! https://vote.signalaward.com/PublicVoting#/2026/shows/genre/self-improvement-self-help

Dr. Sophie Engelhardt did everything medicine asked of her — years of rigorous training, a pathology residency, labwork and autopsies. Then, mid-residency, she walked away to become a professional actress. She and Dr. Zarya trace the whole arc: how medicine became "the exoskeleton" for her self-esteem, the unmitigated empathy she couldn't switch off, the three-month unpaid leave that let her test the life-changing decision before making it, and how she left with no burned bridges — and a brand new dream life. KEY TAKEAWAYS - Medicine can become "an exoskeleton for your self-esteem" — external achievement standing in for identity work never done. - Unmitigated empathy that won't switch off is a real, valid reason a career stops being sustainable, not a personal failing. - A structured trial — Sophie took three months of unpaid leave — can reveal how you actually feel before you make an irreversible choice. - Leaving doesn't require burning bridges: colleagues told her "the door is open," and she still felt no guilt about the work she did. - Chronic lateness and an inability to get out of bed weren't a personality trait — they were signs of a job that didn't fit, not proof something was wrong with her. - Her advice for anyone scared to leap: picture yourself at 80, looking back, grateful you did it. TIMESTAMPS 00:00 – Introduction to Dr. Sophie Engelhardt 01:56 – Choosing medicine and pathology in the European academic-track system 08:07 – "Medicine was the exoskeleton for my self-esteem" 21:10 – Landing the dream pathology job in Denmark 22:21 – When the cracks started showing — unmitigated empathy for patients 27:16 – Rediscovering performance through background acting work 37:04 – Balancing two full-time careers 39:47 – The three-month unpaid leave experiment 42:11 – How colleagues and family reacted to her leaving 53:19 – Rapid Fire Round GUEST CONTACT Instagram, Facebook, TikTok: search Dr. Sophie Engelhardt Casting/industry profiles: Filmmakers, Talenta, Spotlight, IMDb Currently co-writing "Ward B," a series on female health and medical inequities Connect with Dr. Zarya Rubin, founder of The Afterglow Collective: Website: www.outsmartburnout.com IG: www.instagram.com/outsmartburnout Get your FREE Burnout to Balance Toolkit: https://drzarya.myflodesk.com/burnouttoolkit Book a FREE Consult with Dr. Zarya: https://calendly.com/drzarya/free-burnout-consult Reach out with questions or to book Dr. Zarya for your next event: [email protected]

Natasha Ramlall, embodied immigration coach and founder of Humanist Coaching, joins Dr. Zarya to unpack "identity rupture" — the disorienting collapse that hits hyper-capable women at midlife. After 25 years supporting immigrants and refugees, Natasha's own burnout, perimenopause, and a Hashimoto's diagnosis converged at once. They dig into why women blame themselves before they investigate, the collective dimension of burnout, and a simple somatic practice anyone can try today. KEY TAKEAWAYS - "Identity rupture" describes the internal transformation life transitions demand — not just the external logistics of a crisis. - Burnout, perimenopause, and autoimmune conditions like Hashimoto's often converge and mimic each other, making self-blame the default first response. - Our default setting is "there's something wrong with me" instead of "there's something wrong" — investigate before you internalize. - Burnout has a collective dimension, not just a personal one — widespread exhaustion reflects an overvalued, unsustainable masculine-coded pace of life. - Embodied integration means reconnecting to the body's felt sense alongside the mind's stories, not choosing one over the other. - A simple practice: place a book on your lower belly lying down — it should rise on the inhale, fall on the exhale. That's diaphragmatic breathing. - Self-trust doesn't come from making the "right" choices — it comes from knowing you can withstand whatever happens. TIMESTAMPS 00:06 – Introduction to Natasha Ramlall 01:46 – 25 years working with immigrants and refugees 07:43 – Natasha's own experience of burnout 16:12 – Blaming herself for two years before her Hashimoto's diagnosis 21:15 – The collective dimension of burnout 28:11 – What embodied integration actually means 33:07 – A practical belly-breathing exercise 41:07 – Identity rupture, explained 53:06 – Rapid Fire Round GUEST CONTACT Website: humanistcoaching.ca Free resource: guided audio resourcing practice (available via website) Special offer: introductory embodied integration coaching session, $44 CAD Connect with Dr. Zarya Rubin, founder of The Afterglow Collective: Website: www.outsmartburnout.com IG: www.instagram.com/outsmartburnout Get your FREE Burnout to Balance Toolkit: https://drzarya.myflodesk.com/burnouttoolkit Book a FREE Consult with Dr. Zarya: https://calendly.com/drzarya/free-burnout-consult Reach out with questions or to book Dr. Zarya for your next event: [email protected]

Board-certified functional physician Dr. Miranda Naylor joins Dr. Zarya to unpack why ovarian aging isn't just about egg count — it's a whole-body process shaped by stress, toxins, and nervous system dysregulation. We cover her own fertility journey through medical residency, why "normal" labs often aren't optimal, and the new AI-powered MenoTime test that estimates ovarian age. Miranda shares her RISE Method for helping women in high-demand life seasons reclaim their hormonal health. KEY TAKEAWAYS - Ovarian aging is a whole-cell process, not just egg count — toxins, stress, poor sleep, and even overtraining can accelerate it. - Fight-or-flight mode diverts resources away from reproduction — nervous system regulation is foundational, not optional. - Early warning signs precede missed periods: worse PMS, irritability, and chronic tension are the body's first flags. - Most lab "normal" ranges were built on broad, often male-based populations — not optimized for individual women. - MenoTime, a new AI/ML test, can estimate ovarian age and time to menopause using existing hormone markers. - Vitamin D and ferritin are simple, actionable labs every woman should track. - Environmental toxins — plastics and synthetic fragrance especially — quietly damage mitochondria and disrupt hormones. TIMESTAMPS 00:00 – Introduction to Dr. Miranda Naylor 01:29 – How residency and her own amenorrhea led her to functional medicine 06:35 – What actually drives ovarian aging 12:00 – The nervous system's role in fertility and hormones 14:25 – Early warning signs before a missed period 15:53 – Practical steps to protect ovarian and cellular health 20:31 – Inflammation and "inflammaging," explained 26:34 – The RISE Method breakdown 30:38 – Why "normal" labs aren't the same as optimal 39:55 – Rapid Fire Round GUEST CONTACT Website: drmirandanaylor.com (free hormone quiz available) Instagram: www.instagram.com/drmiranda Book a Clarity Call: available via her website Connect with Dr. Zarya Rubin, founder of The Afterglow Collective: Website: www.outsmartburnout.com IG: www.instagram.com/outsmartburnout Get your FREE Burnout to Balance Toolkit: https://drzarya.myflodesk.com/burnouttoolkit Book a FREE Consult with Dr. Zarya: https://calendly.com/drzarya/free-burnout-consult Reach out with questions or to book Dr. Zarya for your next event: [email protected]