When Trust, Alcohol, and Intimacy Collide

What happens when alcohol stops feeling like something outside the relationship and begins to feel like a third person inside it? At the beginning of Kristien and Stijn's journey, Dr. Pavini Moray starts by listening for what hurts, what each of them wants, and the patterns already shaping their connection. Kristien longs for more emotional and sexual intimacy without constantly monitoring Stijn's drinking. Stijn knows alcohol has become a problem, but he wants the space to understand it and make changes in his own way. As they begin tracing their family histories, the conflict starts to look less like a disagreement about drinking and more like two very different responses to something deeply familiar. Both grew up around alcohol, emotional disconnection, and things that went largely unspoken. When Kristien describes alcohol as “the mistress in the relationship,” a deeper question emerges: can they recognize what they inherited before those old patterns decide what happens next? What Begins to Surface When alcohol starts taking up space inside the relationship The difference between wanting change and wanting control How family history shapes what feels normal in love Why emotional connection becomes tied to physical intimacy What happens when naming a problem is not the same as drawing a boundary This podcast focuses on relationship dynamics and is not intended to provide addiction treatment. If you or someone you love is struggling from the impact of untreated substance abuse, please seek support from qualified professionals who specialize in addiction. If something major in your relationship needs to shift, Book a Free Clarity Call with Dr. Pavini at https://pavini.as.me/ to find out what's possible. On our call, we'll get clear on: What's actually happening right now What you're longing for instead Whether working together is the right fit One or two things you can start doing differently right now You'll leave with clarity and a concrete next step. About the Host: Dr. Pavini Moray is a somatic coach and Relational Life Therapy practitioner with a PhD in Somatic Psychology. For more than 15 years, Pavini has worked with couples navigating relationship crisis, intimacy challenges, rupture, and repair. Their approach blends Relational Life Therapy, somatic work, and trauma-informed care to help couples understand the deeper patterns shaping how they connect, communicate, and love. https://www.pavinimoray.com/ Musical Attribution: Original podcast music composed by Luke Djordjevic Thanks for listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below! Subscribe to the podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can follow the podcast on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast app. Leave us an Apple Podcasts review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you are enjoying the show, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts.