137. The Traitor Within: How Childhood Wounds Keep You Stuck in Toxic Relationships | My Conversation with Jessica Anne Pressler, LCSW

Why do smart, self-aware women keep going back to relationships that hurt them? In this episode of the Speak Honest Podcast, Jenn Noble sits down with Jessica Anne Pressler, a Columbia-trained psychotherapist, licensed clinical social worker, and grief counselor with over four decades of experience helping people heal from trauma and destructive relationship patterns. Jessica introduces her concept of the traitor within, the part of us formed in childhood to keep us safe that later shows up as self-sabotage in adult relationships. Jenn and Jessica dig into why intelligent, capable women stay in relationships with narcissists, how childhood coping mechanisms like people pleasing or staying invisible get carried into adulthood, why couples counseling can actually backfire with a narcissistic partner, and what real boundaries look like versus a plea for connection disguised as one. Jessica also shares about her upcoming novel Traitor Within, which follows a protagonist through a cycle of toxic relationships shaped by the same childhood wounds. You might want to listen if: You keep asking yourself why you stay in relationships that aren't good for you You suspect your partner might be a narcissist and don't know what to do next You want to understand how childhood coping mechanisms show up in adult relationships You're setting boundaries but they keep getting ignored or turned against you You're curious about self-sabotage and where it actually comes from WORK WITH ME 🎯 Schedule your FREE 30-min Attachment Assessment with Jenn — see if the Fall 2026 Cohort is the right fit for you Ready Now? Join the Speak Honest Academy Apply for FREE Podcast Coaching with Jenn Ask your Coach a question — it might get featured on the show LEARN MORE Grab your copy of the #1 best-selling book, Dance of Attachment Visit www.speak-honest.com to learn more Watch Jenn's 🔴 TEDx Talk STAY CONNECTED Join our FREE Speak Honest Facebook Group 🧡 Follow Jenn on Instagram: @speak_honest Enjoying the show? A review helps other women find us! DISCLAIMER:  Speak Honest podcast content is informational, not professional or medical advice. Jenn is an ICF relationship coach, not a licensed therapist. Consult health professionals for specific concerns. Client opinions do not reflect Speak Honest’s stance. We aim for acc...