138. How to Talk to an Avoidant Partner Who Closes Off (What Warmth Might Do)

What if the way you show up in the room shapes how open your avoidant partner can be? In this episode of the Speak Honest Podcast, Jenn Noble breaks down a 2020 study on how verbal and nonverbal affection land with partners who score higher in attachment avoidance. Jenn walks through what the researchers watched for, including eye contact, smiles, and the glow of someone who loves telling a love story, and shares what happened when the speaker came across warm and when the speaker came across less warm. Warmth and openness moved together, and the pattern showed up a little more strongly for listeners higher in avoidance. She also talks about where sincere words fit into the picture, why warmth may work like proof that love is real, and how tricky genuine warmth becomes when resentment is sitting at the table. Jenn wraps up by exploring what this could mean for the way you love the people in your life, and invites you to try a little extra warmth this week.  You might want to listen if: Your avoidant partner shuts down, withdraws, or goes quiet when conversations turn emotional You are wondering how to talk to an avoidant partner so they feel safer and come back sooner Heartfelt words keep bouncing off your avoidant husband or boyfriend and you want to know what else helps Resentment makes it hard to show warmth toward an emotionally distant partner You are curious about the science of attachment avoidance, nonverbal affection, and emotional connection Join the Somatic Affirmation Research Study: https://forms.gle/qnVQo2P3BhcTnEMw9  Trust me, bro? Nope. Here's the actual study, so you can check my work:  Schrage, K. M., Maxwell, J. A., Impett, E. A., Keltner, D., & MacDonald, G. (2020). Effects of verbal and nonverbal communication of affection on avoidantly attached partners' emotions and message receptiveness. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 46(11), 1567–1580. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167220910311  WORK WITH ME 🎯 Schedule your FREE 30-min Attachment Assessment with Jenn — see if the Fall 2026 Cohort is the right fit for you Ready Now? Join the Speak Honest Academy Apply for FREE Podcast Coaching with Jenn Ask your Coach a question — it might get featured on the show LEARN MORE Grab your copy of the #1 best-selling book, Dance of Attachment Visit www.speak-honest.com to learn more Watch Jenn's 🔴 TEDx Talk STAY CONNECTED Join our FREE Speak Honest Facebook Group 🧡 Follow Jenn on Instagram: @speak_honest Enjoying the show? A review helps other women find us! DISCLAIMER:  Speak Honest podcast content is informational, not professional or medical advice. Jenn is an ICF relationship coach, not a licensed therapist. Consult health professionals for specific concerns. Client opinions do not reflect Speak Honest’s stance. We aim for acc...