The Big Drink Rethink

Alcohol Mindset Coaching | EP 148 What keeps us truly stuck when we question our drinking? In this episode of The Big Drink Rethink, Anna Donaghey is joined by her friend, fellow coach, and Unstuck! co-founder Tabbin Almond, to dig deep into shame, isolation, and how secret struggles with alcohol thrive in silence. Together, they explore why even the smartest, most capable people can’t “think” their way out of this trap and why connection changes everything. Through honest reflections on their personal journeys, failed attempts at going it alone, and the transformative magic of finding “your people,” Anna and Tabbin show how sharing even the scariest truths can dissolve shame and spark hope. Drawing on lessons from support groups, psychological research (hello Brené Brown!), and their own coaching community, this episode is a must-listen for anyone feeling locked in a cage of secrecy. If you’re tired of the cycle of self-blame and ready to discover how a peer community can change everything, this one’s for you. Highlights: 00:00 Why community is the antidote to shame and secrecy 03:32 Tabbin Almond recounts 25 years of trying to “fix” drinking 06:47 Why not fitting “the label” keeps us from getting help 10:04 The turning point: when everything failed 13:00 Why denying emotions makes change impossible 16:15 Why every broken rule feels like proof you’re failing 21:11 How hiding keeps you stuck and hopeless 22:20 Lessons from AA, the power (and envy) of mutual support 26:04 How loneliness, not just alcohol, is the real cage 27:24 What shifted when Anna and Tabbin found peer community 32:00 Brené Brown: Shame can’t survive being shared 33:34 Realising you’re not alone (and why it matters) 38:32 How real belonging and support transforms recovery 43:46 Why asking for help, however small, breaks the isolation 48:50 Why nobody else can “fix” you. Listener offer: An exclusive 15% off Botivo - a bittersweet, citrusy aperitivo that perfectly marks that end-of-day moment. If you’d like to try it, you can get 15% off at https://botivodrinks.com/ with the code BIGDRINKRETHINK15. Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy! Order your copy and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/ For free tools and to receive Anna’s newsletter, The Rethink Edit, visit: https://www.thebigdrinkrethink.com/resources Join the The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab, Anna’s ‘inner circle’ on Substack, find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/ If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink About the host Anna: Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do. Connect with Anna: Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink Produced by winteraudio.co.uk About Tabbin Almond: Tabbin had a long and largely secret struggle to regain control over alcohol. Alcohol-free since 2018, she now works full-time as an alcohol-freedom coach, speaker, podcast host and writer. Her book ‘Bottling Up Trouble – how alcohol is harming your business and what you can do about it’, is an Amazon best-seller. Connect with Tabbin: Website: https://www.winetowatercoaching.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/winetowatercoaching Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/winetowatercoaching LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/katherine-tabbin-almond Mentioned in this episode: Listener offer: An exclusive 15% off Botivo - a bittersweet, citrusy aperitivo that perfectly marks that end-of-day moment. If you’d like to try it, you can get 15% off at https://botivodrinks.com/ with the code BIGDRINKRETHINK15.

Alcohol Mindset Coaching | EP 147 Why is it so hard to be honest about your drinking even with yourself? In this episode, Anna Donaghey explores the real reason vulnerability feels so impossible, especially when questioning your relationship with alcohol. Drawing from both personal experience and the groundbreaking research of Brené Brown, Anna dives into why the moment we admit to ourselves, "I've been wondering about my drinking," is so terrifying, and why opening up is the first step towards real change. Anna unpacks the subtle and not-so-subtle ways we armour up busyness, perfectionism, people pleasing, and of course, alcohol itself. She shows how our culture’s black-and-white labels ("normal" versus "problem") keep us silent and stuck, and shares practical exercises for opening two doors: first, being honest with yourself, and then, speaking it out loud to someone else. Full of gentle insight and actionable tools, this episode is for anyone ready to get curious, let go of shame, and start moving forward. Highlights: 00:00 Intro: Why questioning alcohol feels so hard 01:28 The 3am wakeup and uncomfortable questions 03:20 The six-word sentence: “I’ve been wondering about my drinking” 05:32 What vulnerability is (and isn’t): Brené Brown’s definition 07:11 The armour we use: humour, busyness, perfectionism, alcohol 12:11 Why our language puts us in boxes (“normal” vs “problem”) 13:42 Alcohol use as a spectrum, not a binary 15:22 The fear of what others will think 16:32 The first door: letting yourself have the thought 18:26 How we bargain, compare, and distract to avoid honesty 22:25 Kristin Neff’s research on self-compassion 25:36 The moment Anna got curious and things started to shift 30:09 Alcohol, health, and why it’s okay to start exploring 31:06 The second door: saying it out loud to someone else 32:02 Why shame thrives in secrecy 33:03 How to make speaking up easier 34:42 Anna’s first honest conversation with her husband 42:14 Dan Sullivan’s 4 Cs rule: why courage comes before confidence 42:50 Bringing it all together: two doors to change 44:18 Next week’s episode: the power of community. Listener offer: An exclusive 15% off Botivo - a bittersweet, citrusy aperitivo that perfectly marks that end-of-day moment. If you’d like to try it, you can get 15% off at https://botivodrinks.com/ with the code BIGDRINKRETHINK15. Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy! Order your copy and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/ For free tools and to receive Anna’s newsletter, The Rethink Edit, visit: https://www.thebigdrinkrethink.com/resources Join the The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab, Anna’s ‘inner circle’ on Substack, find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/ If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink About the host Anna: Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do. Connect with Anna: Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink Produced by winteraudio.co.uk Mentioned in this episode: Listener offer: An exclusive 15% off Botivo - a bittersweet, citrusy aperitivo that perfectly marks that end-of-day moment. If you’d like to try it, you can get 15% off at https://botivodrinks.com/ with the code BIGDRINKRETHINK15.

Alcohol Mindset Coaching | EP 146 Why does asking for help feel so impossible, especially when you're a mum, and everyone else seems to be coping just fine? In this episode, Anna Donaghey is joined by Vic Vanstone, author and host of Sober Awkward to talk honestly about early motherhood, the loss of self, and the drinking that came along for the ride. Vic shares how she went from backpacking party girl to new mum in Australia, and why alcohol became her way of finding "the old me" again. Anna reflects on swapping a career built on planning and control, for the chaos of a newborn, and the performance of being the perfectly put-together mum. Together they explore why the people closest to us are often the hardest to tell, the shame that keeps us stuck, and the moments that finally made them reach out. Highlights: 00:00 Intro: Surprised by how hard motherhood really is 00:57 Meet Vic Vanstone, host of Sober Awkward and author 03:26 The shock of trying to merge a “party self” with new mum life 07:50 Using alcohol to reclaim the “old me” 13:22 The pressure to perform motherhood for others 17:10 Alcohol as the only tool for managing big emotions 22:26 The shame and stigma that make it hard to ask for help 28:30 How rock-bottom moments with partners force a rethink 34:36 The power of saying, “I think I have a problem with alcohol” 36:33 The “merry-go-round” therapy epiphany: you get to step off 42:09 Anna's route in: This Naked Mind and getting curious 43:07 Why reaching out for help doesn’t have to be dramatic 47:31 “Find your people” - how to keep seeking support until it fits 48:38 Breaking the booze cycle for the next generation Listener offer: An exclusive 15% off Botivo - a bittersweet, citrusy aperitivo that perfectly marks that end-of-day moment. If you’d like to try it, you can get 15% off at https://botivodrinks.com/ with the code BIGDRINKRETHINK15. Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy! Order your copy and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/ For free tools and to receive Anna’s newsletter, The Rethink Edit, visit: https://www.thebigdrinkrethink.com/resources Join the The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab, Anna’s ‘inner circle’ on Substack, find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/ If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink About the host Anna: Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do. Connect with Anna: Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink Produced by winteraudio.co.uk About Victoria Vanstone: Victoria Vanstone is a British-born, Sunshine Coast-based writer and podcast host. She got sober after hitting a low point on her bathroom floor and started writing about it on her blog, Drunk Mummy Sober Mummy - honest, funny, and unsparing about motherhood, anxiety, and life after booze. That voice led her to co-create Sober Awkward, now with over 7 million downloads and named "culture-changing" by The Guardian UK. She's the author of A Thousand Wasted Sundays (runner-up, 2024 Australian Independent Book Awards) and Mumming: A Year of Trying, and Failing, to be a Better Parent, a memoir on the impossible standards of modern motherhood. Victoria lives on the Sunshine Coast with her husband and three children, and speaks and writes wherever honesty, failure, and a good laugh are welcome. Mentioned in this episode: Listener offer: An exclusive 15% off Botivo - a bittersweet, citrusy aperitivo that perfectly marks that end-of-day moment. If you’d like to try it, you can get 15% off at https://botivodrinks.com/ with the code BIGDRINKRETHINK15.

Alcohol Mindset Coaching | EP 145 Why do so many of us feel we need a drink to be confident at parties, gatherings, even among friends? In this episode, Anna Donaghey untangles the deep-rooted belief that alcohol provides confidence, and invites you to question where that story really comes from. With lived experience and psychological insight, Anna guides you through the "costume" we put on with every glass, and the subconscious beliefs driving our drinking behaviours. She breaks down the science behind nerves and explains why true confidence can't be poured from a bottle and how what you're really after might be presence, not performance. Make sure you listen to discover practical mindset shifts and tools for handling social situations alcohol-free. Highlights: 00:00 Why we often reach for a drink before entering a party 01:32 The hidden belief: “Alcohol gives me confidence” 02:50 How subconscious beliefs shape our drinking behaviours 05:36 Digging deeper: is the real belief “I’m not enough as I am”? 06:25 Nerves are natural, not a sign of weakness 07:06 Alcohol as a “costume” in social settings 10:09 Questioning our beliefs: “Says who?” 11:20 Remembering a time before alcohol 13:14 The difference between confidence and lowered inhibitions 16:45 Why alcohol delivers only a “borrowed” confidence 17:41 I am enough as I am, and confidence is something I build 19:30 Tools for managing nerves: relabel anxiety as excitement 20:45 Using genuine curiosity when meeting new people 21:26 When anxiety is actually a signal to honour your needs 22:13 Confidence means choosing the right rooms for you 22:31 Get your free worksheet at https://www.thebigdrinkrethink.com/toolkit-optin Listener offer: An exclusive 15% off Botivo - a bittersweet, citrusy aperitivo that perfectly marks that end-of-day moment. If you’d like to try it, you can get 15% off at https://botivodrinks.com/ with the code BIGDRINKRETHINK15. Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy! Order your copy and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/ For free tools and to receive Anna’s newsletter, The Rethink Edit, visit: https://www.thebigdrinkrethink.com/resources The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle ’- a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/ If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink About the host Anna: Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do. Connect with Anna: Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink Produced by winteraudio.co.uk Mentioned in this episode: Listener offer: An exclusive 15% off Botivo - a bittersweet, citrusy aperitivo that perfectly marks that end-of-day moment. If you’d like to try it, you can get 15% off at https://botivodrinks.com/ with the code BIGDRINKRETHINK15.

Alcohol Mindset Coaching | EP 144 Who am I? What do I stand for? What kind of life do I want to live? These aren't questions reserved for lecture halls. If you've ever tried to change your relationship with alcohol, you've already been asking them. This week, Anna Donaghey is joined by Peg O'Connor, professor of philosophy, author and a woman in long-term recovery, to bring philosophy out of academia and into everyday life. Together they make the case that anyone grappling with change is already a philosopher at heart. Peg shares her lived experience of addiction and what it taught her about shame, self-belief and the quiet pull of living on autopilot. She and Anna explore why recovery works better as an ongoing experiment than a fixed identity, and how reclaiming genuine agency and a sense of belonging to yourself can change everything. Whether you're sober, sober curious or simply questioning the role alcohol plays in your life, this conversation will leave you thinking differently about who you are and who you're becoming. Highlights: 00:00 Meet Peg O'Connor: philosopher, author, and recovering alcoholic 01:16 The big questions addiction and philosophy both ask 03:26 Why everyone in recovery is already a philosopher 04:09 Ancient philosophy: "How do we live and flourish?" 09:10 Knowing you're in trouble, but unsure how to change 12:00 The fatalism and isolation of shame 14:53 39 years sober and still treating every day as a new experiment 18:45 Hitting all of life's benchmarks but still losing yourself 21:31 Alcohol freedom as a gateway not the destination 22:28 Happiness as despair’s hiding place (Kierkegaard) 24:05 Functioning on autopilot; the tyranny of "fine" 26:14 The torment of not feeling fully present 32:09 The transformative question: "What do I deserve?" 33:04 Why philosophy doesn’t judge, but invites exploration 34:19 What philosophers say about will and change 38:40 Painting a vivid picture for your future; setting a new compass 40:12 Embracing agency and accepting responsibility 43:09 Stoic wisdom: controlling what you can, accepting what you can't 47:05 Dialogue is at the heart of philosophy and recovery 47:48 Peg’s new book: “Recovering Character: Overcoming Addiction and Belonging to Yourself” 53:08 Examining life is what makes it worth living. Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy! Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/ The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/ If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink About the host Anna: Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do. Connect with Anna: Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink Produced by winteraudio.co.uk About Peg O’Connor: Peg O’Connor has been a professor of philosophy for more than thirty years. Active in her own addiction to alcohol, Peg came to recognise she was deeply disoriented in her own life. She didn't recognise herself and had no idea who she was or wanted to be. She had no self-respect. She didn't belong to herself but rather to the alcohol she was drinking, the unrealistic expectations she put on herself, and a boatload of grievances. She knew she didn't want to keep living the way she was. Knowing what we don't want to do or be is a first step to changing - but it isn't enough. Philosophy became Peg's travelling companion on the journey to find out who she is, and what she stands for. She believes it helped her to get and stay sober - helping her name what she had lost and plot a course to get it back. Or create it for the first time. Connect with Peg: Website: https://pegoconnorauthor.com/ Mentioned in this episode: Listener offer: An exclusive 15% off Botivo - a bittersweet, citrusy aperitivo that perfectly marks that end-of-day moment. If you’d like to try it, you can get 15% off at https://botivodrinks.com/ with the code BIGDRINKRETHINK15.