Shame Can't Survive Being Shared - with Tabbin Almond

Alcohol Mindset Coaching | EP 148 What keeps us truly stuck when we question our drinking? In this episode of The Big Drink Rethink, Anna Donaghey is joined by her friend, fellow coach, and Unstuck! co-founder Tabbin Almond, to dig deep into shame, isolation, and how secret struggles with alcohol thrive in silence. Together, they explore why even the smartest, most capable people can’t “think” their way out of this trap and why connection changes everything. Through honest reflections on their personal journeys, failed attempts at going it alone, and the transformative magic of finding “your people,” Anna and Tabbin show how sharing even the scariest truths can dissolve shame and spark hope. Drawing on lessons from support groups, psychological research (hello Brené Brown!), and their own coaching community, this episode is a must-listen for anyone feeling locked in a cage of secrecy. If you’re tired of the cycle of self-blame and ready to discover how a peer community can change everything, this one’s for you. Highlights: 00:00 Why community is the antidote to shame and secrecy 03:32 Tabbin Almond recounts 25 years of trying to “fix” drinking 06:47 Why not fitting “the label” keeps us from getting help 10:04 The turning point: when everything failed 13:00 Why denying emotions makes change impossible 16:15 Why every broken rule feels like proof you’re failing 21:11 How hiding keeps you stuck and hopeless 22:20 Lessons from AA, the power (and envy) of mutual support 26:04 How loneliness, not just alcohol, is the real cage 27:24 What shifted when Anna and Tabbin found peer community 32:00 Brené Brown: Shame can’t survive being shared 33:34 Realising you’re not alone (and why it matters) 38:32 How real belonging and support transforms recovery 43:46 Why asking for help, however small, breaks the isolation 48:50 Why nobody else can “fix” you. Listener offer: An exclusive 15% off Botivo - a bittersweet, citrusy aperitivo that perfectly marks that end-of-day moment. If you’d like to try it, you can get 15% off at https://botivodrinks.com/ with the code BIGDRINKRETHINK15. Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy! Order your copy and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/ For free tools and to receive Anna’s newsletter, The Rethink Edit, visit: https://www.thebigdrinkrethink.com/resources Join the The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab, Anna’s ‘inner circle’ on Substack, find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/ If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink About the host Anna: Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do. Connect with Anna: Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink Produced by winteraudio.co.uk About Tabbin Almond: Tabbin had a long and largely secret struggle to regain control over alcohol. Alcohol-free since 2018, she now works full-time as an alcohol-freedom coach, speaker, podcast host and writer. Her book ‘Bottling Up Trouble – how alcohol is harming your business and what you can do about it’, is an Amazon best-seller. Connect with Tabbin: Website: https://www.winetowatercoaching.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/winetowatercoaching Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/winetowatercoaching LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/katherine-tabbin-almond Mentioned in this episode: Listener offer: An exclusive 15% off Botivo - a bittersweet, citrusy aperitivo that perfectly marks that end-of-day moment. If you’d like to try it, you can get 15% off at https://botivodrinks.com/ with the code BIGDRINKRETHINK15.