Claude Sucks, There Are No Trees, and Go Fuck Yourself (Scientifically)

The first-ever glow-in-the-dark disc golf league pulls 22 players, the AI-built tee sheet strands a six-top in the middle of nowhere, and the official fix is to plug it right back into the same AI and tell it where it fucked up. Also: night golfers swear they never hit a single tree, and skin-cell science threatens to make "go fuck yourself" a real medical option.