Abusive Relationship: Can You See It Coming? With Survivor & Advocate Sammie Jade

Do you think you’d notice if a partner was controlling you? Most of us do, and most of us are wrong. Sam explains how coercive control starts with attention that feels like love and slowly takes away your money, your friends, your family, and your freedom. She also explains why “just leave” is never that simple. Sam is a coercive control survivor, a mum, and one of Australia’s most prominent voices educating women about controlling relationships. After leaving, she gave evidence that helped send her ex-partner to prison, then turned her experience into a social media platform with millions of views. She now helps women recognise the warning signs, find the language for what they’re living through, and support the people they love. In this episode, she explains: * The Slow Squeeze: Coercive control is a pattern of small incidents that quietly strips away your autonomy until you’re managing someone else’s moods instead of living your own life. * The Red Flags That Look Like Love: Constant texting, sudden jealousy, and deleting male friends “as a boundary” are easy to read as devotion in the first weeks. * Why You Don’t See It: The boiling frog effect, isolation, gaslighting, minimising, self-blame and trauma bonding all work to keep victims from recognising what’s happening. * The Money Trap: How economic abuse works in real life, from drained credit cards and locked accounts to being questioned over a coffee. * Why Couples Counselling Can Backfire: What Sam learned about getting therapy, and why individual support matters before and after you leave. * How to Really Help Someone: Why pressuring a friend to leave can push them further away, and what to do instead. Follow Sammie: Instagram: @sammieejade0 TikTok: @sammieejade0 00:00 Intro  01:02 Why Sam Became a Public Advocate  03:05 What Is Coercive Control?  05:43 How It Started: The Fairy Tale Beginning  07:01 The First Red Flags  08:56 How Entrapment Actually Happens  11:12 Did Anyone Around Her Notice?  13:14 When the Control Escalated  16:43 Isolation During Covid  19:32 Why Victims Don’t Recognise It  21:40 Trauma Bonding Explained  22:25 Why Couples Therapy Doesn’t Work  26:17 Economic Abuse  30:53 Control in the Bedroom  35:27 What Stress Does to Your Body  36:43 “Why Didn’t You Just Leave?”  40:12 The Day She Left  45:46 Stalking, AVOs & Fear of Release  48:31 Why She Went Public  51:16 Rebuilding Your Life  53:06 How to Help Someone You’re Worried About  54:43 “No Is a Complete Sentence” If you or someone you know is affected by domestic or family violence in Australia, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732.