Where Are You REALLY From? Growing Up a Refugee in Denmark with Lena Rexhepi | 181

What does it mean to grow up in Denmark and still be treated like a foreigner? In this episode, Derek sits down with Lena Rexhepi, who arrived in Denmark from Kosovo as a nine-year-old refugee in 1999. Now the author of But Where Are You Really From? Foreign There, Foreign Here: From Kosovo to Denmark, Lena shares her story of fleeing war, rebuilding her life, and navigating what it means to belong to two places without always feeling completely at home in either. Lena opens up about the lasting impact of childhood displacement, the changing political rhetoric around refugees and immigrants in Denmark, and the everyday experiences of racism and othering that can follow you even when you've grown up here, learned the language, and built a successful career. From having to explain her name in professional meetings to confronting assumptions about her background on dates and at dinner parties, Lena explores how seemingly innocent questions can carry deeper messages about who belongs. She also shares what she genuinely loves about Danish culture, the differences she sees between Denmark and Kosovo, and why identity doesn't always fit neatly into one box. This is a conversation about migration, identity, resilience, and the difference between living in a country and feeling at home in it. In this episode: What Lena remembers about fleeing the Kosovo War as a child How Denmark welcomed her family — and how her experience changed as she grew up Why “Where are you really from?” can be a loaded question Racism, stereotypes, and being othered in everyday life Navigating identity, dating, names, and professional life in Denmark What Lena appreciates about Danish culture, despite its contradictions What it means to be told to “go back home” when you're not sure where home is Lena's memoir is But Where Are You Really From? Foreign There, Foreign Here: From Kosovo to Denmark Order it here: https://lenarexhepi.com/about-the-book/ Chapters 00:00 Introduction 01:01 Lena's story: From Kosovo to Denmark 02:01 Fleeing the Kosovo War 04:19 Writing about childhood trauma 06:14 Finding refuge in Denmark 09:00 Denmark's changing attitudes toward refugees 11:24 Everyday racism and stereotypes 12:16 Being judged by your background 15:56 The subtle ways we make people feel like outsiders 16:08 Having to explain your name 18:00 Choosing a name that fits in 20:20 How othering affects dating and relationships 23:46 Living between Danish and Albanian identities 24:10 What Lena appreciates about Danish culture 26:07 Danish directness vs. Albanian warmth 29:00 Identity, labels, and the meaning of belonging 32:00 Being told to “go back home” 34:24 Class, privilege, and belonging within Denmark 35:37 What Lena would tell her nine-year-old self 🎟️ Get tickets for Derek and Conrad's English Stand Up Comedy Show on 26th November ➡️ HERE 📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFCSH6KqKooZmSx1GJu9CWZYjX8esjl2F 📢 Send your questions and/or comments. voice: https://www.speakpipe.com/waydid email: [email protected] 👉 Remember to tell your friends about the podcast. 👀 More living in Denmark tips: https://instagram.com/waydidpod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.