Grieve That Sh!t

"She was more than her ending. And healing didn't mean letting her go. It meant letting the pain stop running the show." In Part 2 of this deeply personal episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, continues the raw conversation with Nikki about grieving a mother who was also her best friend. This episode moves beyond the loss and into what happens after the world keeps spinning and you're still stuck. Nikki shares what it was really like to resist grief work, to believe that suffering was the only way to honor her mom, and to carry guilt she didn't even realize she was holding. Together, Sharon and Nikki unpack one of the most painful grief lies of all: "If I heal, it means I didn't love them enough." You'll hear how healing finally began when Nikki stopped protecting the pain and allowed herself to tell the truth about what she lost, what she carried, and what she deserved next. This episode is about releasing unhealthy grief, honoring the full life of your person, and learning how to live again without betraying the love that came before. What You'll Hear in This Episode Why many grievers believe suffering equals loyalty How guilt hides inside grief and keeps you stuck What it means to be "more than their ending" Why healing doesn't erase love, memories, or connection How letting the pain soften creates space to celebrate your person again Questions to Sit With After Listening You don't have to answer these perfectly. Just honestly. Where have I believed that my pain is protecting my person? What part of my grief feels unhealthy, even if I don't want to admit it yet? Am I afraid that healing means leaving them behind? If my person could speak to me right now, what would they want for my life? What would it look like to grieve and live at the same time? Gentle Homework Write this sentence at the top of a page: "They were more than their ending." Now finish it without rushing. Let memories come. Let truth come. Let the love show up. You're not erasing them. You're letting their whole life matter again.

*]:pointer-events-auto scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]" dir="auto" tabindex="-1" data-turn-id= "request-6920a090-ad04-8322-ba7a-5ec27567cc94-1" data-testid= "conversation-turn-64" data-scroll-anchor="true" data-turn= "assistant"> "You were never meant to grieve quietly. Your emotions didn't show up to hurt you. They showed up to help you process what just happened." In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, Certified Grief Specialist and founder of The Grief School, sits down with Nikki to talk about a kind of loss that cuts straight to the core. The loss of a mother who was also a best friend. After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon learned that grief isn't one-dimensional. There are layers. And one of the most overlooked layers is the grief that comes from losing the person who knew you, guided you, and helped you make sense of life. In this conversation, Nikki shares the story of her mom Cheryl. Not just who she was, but how deeply intertwined she was in every part of her life. From daily texts and phone calls to faith, caregiving, unanswered prayers, and the shock of having no time to prepare. This episode explores what happens when grief collides with faith, when anger at God feels unavoidable, and when the foundation you were raised on both supports you and breaks your heart at the same time. We talk about the reality of caregiving, the trauma of watching someone you love decline, and the quiet ways people stay connected after loss. Keeping a phone on. Sending messages that will never be answered. Letting grandchildren leave voicemails. Choosing connection instead of rules. This is an honest, raw conversation about layered grief, unfinished moments, and learning how to live in a world where your anchor is gone. You're not doing grief wrong. You're responding to something that mattered deeply. Let's grieve that shit together. What You'll Hear in This Episode • Why losing a mother who was also a best friend creates a second layer of grief • How caregiving changes the grief experience before death even happens • What it's like to have no time to process before everything changes • How faith can both comfort and anger you after loss • Why staying connected in your own way is not wrong • The difference between healing and erasing the relationship Reflection Questions Take your time with these. There's no rush. Who was your person to you beyond the title they held in your life? What part of your grief do you feel most people don't understand? Where has faith supported you, and where has it felt complicated or painful? What unfinished moments or conversations still live in your body? What connection are you holding onto that brings you comfort, even if others wouldn't understand it? If you stopped judging your grief, what would you allow yourself to feel? Gentle Homework Write this sentence at the top of a page: "What hurts the most about losing them is…" Let yourself finish it without fixing, explaining, or softening the answer. That honesty is part of your healing. Resources + Next Steps 🎥 Watch Sharon's grief teachings and video overviews 🎧 Explore deep-dive podcast episodes like this one 📘 Access study guides, journal prompts, and grief education 🧠 Continue your work inside The Grief School 👉 Everything lives at clickhereforhope.com You don't have to rush this. You don't have to be okay. You just have to be honest.

"Your brain didn't break when your person died. It's just doing what it knows—trying to protect you from pain. But grief doesn't live in your brain. It lives in your heart." In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, Certified Grief Specialist and founder of The Grief School, dives deep into one of the biggest truths about grief: you can't think your way out of it. After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon discovered firsthand that grief isn't logical—it's emotional. Your brain tries to reason, fix, and explain the unexplainable, while your heart just breaks wide open. That war between the head and the heart? It's exactly why you feel like you're spinning. This episode unpacks the difference between intellect, emotion, and sensation—and shows why healing can only happen when you stop trying to "figure it out" and start feeling it. Sharon shares the same lessons that inspired her book This Is Grief and walks you through how to finally calm your mind so you can listen to your heart. Because the truth is: your heart already knows what your brain keeps trying to solve. What You'll Learn in This Episode Why grief is emotional—not intellectual—and how that changes everything The silent war between your brain and your heart after loss Why logic and reason can't fix what's broken in your soul How thoughts like "Why didn't I go?" or "I should have done more" keep you stuck in pain What it really means to "drop into your heart" and let it speak Homework for You If you've been spinning in your thoughts, here's your assignment: Grab a sheet of paper and write down one question that won't stop looping in your mind—like "Why me?" or "Why didn't I answer the phone?" Now write your honest answer. Don't edit. Don't analyze. Just let your heart respond. Then underneath that answer, finish this sentence: "What I really feel is…" That's where your healing begins—not in your thoughts, but in your truth. Resources + Next Steps 🎥 Get the 4-Part Video Series "This Is Grief" — Walk through Sharon's full teaching on what grief is, where it lives, and how to heal. 📖 Read the Book "This Is Grief" — The definition Sharon needed when Austin died. 🧠 Join The Grief School's Study Hall — Weekly live support where you can share, learn, and heal together. 👉 Download or watch it all at clickhereforhope.com

In Part Two of this Grieve That Shit conversation, Sharon Brubaker and Dr. Elijah Frazier move past introductions and into the heart of what grievers struggle with most: choice, accountability, faith, emotions, and permission to heal. This episode challenges one of the most damaging beliefs grievers carry—that grief is something they must endure forever. Sharon and Dr. Frazier speak directly to the idea that pain is inevitable after loss, but staying trapped in suffering is not the only option. They talk honestly about how grief can steal joy, peace, and energy when we are not aware of the choices we are making. Dr. Frazier introduces a powerful metaphor: your joy is on the auction block every day, and too often, people unknowingly give it away to pain, guilt, fear, or other people's expectations. The conversation also dives into faith, anger at God, and the pressure grievers feel to perform spirituality instead of telling the truth. Sharon and Dr. Frazier make it clear that real healing does not require pretending, suppressing emotions, or being "good" in your grief. It requires honesty, boundaries, and the willingness to do the work. This episode speaks directly to the griever who feels stuck, judged, or afraid to move forward. It offers permission to feel fully, question deeply, and still choose healing. 🧠 Key Points Discussed: Why grievers often believe they have no choices and how that belief keeps them stuck The difference between pain and suffering in grief How joy and peace are quietly given away without awareness Why accountability is not punishment but empowerment The role of faith as a bridge, not a crutch Why being angry at God does not block healing The difference between feelings and emotions and why both matter Why natural emotions like anger, anxiety, sadness, and depression are not wrong How spiritual platitudes can invalidate grief and cause harm Why healing requires action, not waiting The importance of boundaries when you are grieving Why emotions need time and space to do their job 📓 Journal Questions for Reflection: Where do I feel like grief has taken away my choices? What pain am I experiencing, and where might I be adding suffering on top of it? In what moments do I notice my joy being "sold off" to other people or situations? What emotions am I afraid to feel fully? How have faith, beliefs, or expectations shaped the way I grieve? Where do I feel pressure to perform healing instead of living it honestly? What would it look like to give my emotions permission to do their work? 🩶 Conclusion: Grief is not a script. It is not a performance. And it is not something you have to endure forever to prove your love. You are allowed to feel anger. You are allowed to question faith. You are allowed to heal. This episode reminds grievers that emotions are not the enemy. Suppressing them is. Healing does not come from pretending everything is okay. It comes from honesty, accountability, and choosing yourself again and again. This is Grieve That Shit. And this is where healing continues.

In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker introduces a defining moment for The Grief School and the podcast. For the first time, she welcomes Dr. Elijah Frazier and shares the news that The Grief School is now powered by The Frazier Group. This is not an announcement episode filled with buzzwords or credentials. It's a conversation about people, pain, and what real care actually looks like when someone is at their breaking point. Sharon and Dr. Frazier talk openly about why grief cannot be handled by systems, scripts, or one-size-fits-all solutions. They explore the difference between easy work and necessary work, and why healing requires intentional relationships, honesty, and empowerment rather than dependency. Dr. Frazier shares his philosophy of care, his commitment to meeting people where they are, and why building a multidisciplinary team matters when someone's life has been shaken by loss. Together, they explain how grief, mental health, physical health, faith, and life circumstances are deeply connected and why separating them often leaves people stuck. This episode sets the foundation for what's coming next. It introduces a partnership built on trust, integrity, and the belief that grief deserves to be held by people, not processed through a system. This is part one of a two-part conversation. Part two goes deeper into grief, choice, and what it means to move forward without abandoning your pain. 🧠 Key Points Discussed: Why The Grief School is now powered by The Frazier Group and what that truly means The difference between easy conversations and necessary conversations in healing Why grief cannot be treated with cookie-cutter scripts or checklists The importance of honoring each person's story instead of forcing outcomes Why empowerment matters more than dependency in long-term healing How unresolved grief often overlaps with weight, health, relationships, and identity Why a collaborative, multidisciplinary approach serves grievers better The role of intentionality in healing and decision-making What it means to do heart-centered work instead of system-centered care 📓 Journal Questions for Reflection: Where have I felt rushed, minimized, or misunderstood in my grief? What kind of support have I been needing but not receiving? How does it feel to consider care that honors my full story, not just my symptoms? Where in my life do I need empowerment instead of being rescued? What would it mean to feel truly seen in my grief? 🩶 Conclusion: Grief does not need to be fixed. It does not need to be rushed. And it should never be handled by a system that forgets the human in front of it. This episode marks the beginning of a deeper, more intentional way of supporting grievers. A way that honors pain, respects complexity, and believes healing happens through real connection. Your story is not finished. And you deserve care that treats it that way. This is Grieve That Shit. And this is where healing begins.